His left hand was in his jeans pockets, and his right hand's index was pointing up in the air with the key chain's ring flying around it. Carelessly, with a dreamer's tired face, he went up the stairs leading to his apartment. His mind, seemingly thinking deeply, was playing Journey's song, Don't Stop Believing. Though, he tried to get it out of his head, so he started mumbling that Anime ending song in Japanese. He thought it's very interesting that he liked the meanings of the words, and the beat of it too, even though he couldn't really follow the actual words.

The Anime song finally won his brain.
Everything we see,
is destined to crumble to nothing,
No!No!No! It's up to you whether you believe it or not,
But love and kindness are sometimes just hypocrisy
Even so we desire them and wander around them
an unseen story a message toward you an unseen story
I am feeling uncertain is it ok for us to believe we can still go on?

He could not decide whether it's dark words or not! But, he likes it for that little chance that they might be dark words! "Woh, when did I start liking dark songs?" a thought came to his mind. "I am gonna go back to Journey's Don't stop believing" he decided.
Don't stop believing ...
.
.

He threw his keys on his bookshelves, and emptied his pockets on that small dusty dinning table. Instantly, he found himself on his chair behind his desk. Why was he setting there? He spent the whole day behind a computer screen. He honestly did not know! He loosened his clothes and start looking around the net for something to read or waste time on, but no luck; he was tired of wasting time online. He made the hard decision; pushed his chair back and got up. Few steps away from his desk, his eyes fell on his journal. He has not opened it in a while. May be it was the cloudy weather, but some mysterious force pulled him toward his journal. Slowly, he reached over with caution, as if he was assuring his journal that he intends no harm.

He stood in his place looking at the pages of his journal. Gradually, he was setting at the floor. He had been keeping a journal for only 3-4 eventful years, though he has not added anything to it in almost a month. He tried to wipe the dust off of his journal cover, but the dust flew the wrong direction, as many things in his life had, and went into his nose to make him sneeze.

"Bliss you."
"Thank you," he replied unconsciously. "Wait, I am alone here." He thought quickly. He looked up, and saw himself standing infront of him wearing that old baggy Tommy jeans and his famous yellow shirt, both of which he still had but never wore them again.

Him: great, now I am hallucinating! that's exactly what I needed now!
yellow shirted him: haha, this is no hallucination. Just a little dream.
Him: The name does not matter. It's all the same. My brain gone wacko!
- ya, your brain had gone wacko. Though, not because you seeing me ...
-- what is it because smart guy?
- You should know. I would never want to be where you are now.
-- well .. tooo bad, because you will be where I am!
- No way, now that I saw it by my eyes. I would do everything differently, the good and the bad.
-- you don't get it it. Me, you, we learn the hard way. We are an experiment of life, trial and error! That is how we are built.
- I will change. We can change. and I will not lose track of my plans, our dreams.
-- huh .. plans, dreams ..what a kid. Wake up ..
- me? You are the one hallucinating!
-- ha-ha .. funny ...
- no, seriously. what happened to our plans?
-- You going to go through it, like I did. I don't want you to feel its pain even before it happens.
- gotcha ...
-- you are wierd.
- nah .. you acting all tough, but it's all a shell. you are still good hearted and nice down there.
-- nice, goodness, all are overrated. besides, you are really pushing my buttons. If I were you, I would just leave.
- you keep forgetting. You are me, and your hallucinations brought me here.
-- NO, I am not you. I am not you ...
- wow .. what happened to you? where did all this bitterness come from?.. you totally sold out on everything I stood up for. I am afraid not only that you sold out. I am afraid you sold out on a lot bigger things.
-- I did not sell out. No, I did not. I adapt to what life throw at me, on my way. I am just tired of not being appreciated. I am tired of being batted on the shoulder for the excellent work, then told to keep it coming. I aint super man ... and yes I am bitter. and I don't know what I am bitter about. The fact that I effed up big time, or because what I was made to go through. It doesn't matter though, because it's all my fault.

- I don't know what happened to you .. It's just sad.
-- what happened to me? Is that what you want to know? Reality happened. I saw the real world. I saw what people really are. Oh, it's dark, dark picture. I saw hypocrisy, fake faces, lies, materialism, eccentric souls, greed ...

His heart beat was quite fast. His grip was almost tearing the journal apart. He looked around him, and saw no one. What was that he saw? He rushed to the closet looking for the Tommy Jeans and the yellow shirt, but he was not surprised when he could not find them.