Michigan Trip: The Party

Around 5 o'clock, Abu Ali, Ashraf's brother-in-law, drove me to me hotel to change my cloths. Ashraf made it very clear that we had to be back by 6. Neither I, nor Abu Ali, knew what the hell exactly is the program!!

We listened this time to Ashraf and made it back to the Masjid by 6. Masjid?? yes, the party thing was at the masjid!! The masjid has two big halls, one was used for the girls, and the other was used for the guys. That's aside from the actual prayer hall.

We prayed maghrib, and Ashraf was not there yet. We asked the dad-in-law about is the program, he said that Ashraf was supposed to pick the bride from the Salon and get here no later than 7 pm. Until then, we were not quite sure what's the deal.

Me and Abu Ali were just talking and setting around. The pride's father walked around shook hands with everyone. The hall had around 8 long tables set-up. On the side, there was this long table with all the cakes and drinks on it.

This was the first wedding or engagement I've been to in the states. I was keen to see how do they do it. Well, one thing didn't Arabs do the same everywhere, organization!!

Ashraf was getting late. It was way past 7, and Ashraf is not there yet. By then, I was looking around, thinking and kinna in the observing mood. I was getting a bit annoyed. The crowd seemed very random, and very un-concerned. It was more like if they came to pray and decided to chill around for a bit. Now, don't get me wrong. Men's parties down there are not much joyful, usually they are more like a funeral house. Specially, when all the old uncles start remembering their deceased friends!!

Anyways, I was getting annoyed that not too many ppl there were happy for Ashraf or to share this day with thim. No one even knew who the groom is. They were guessing it is either me or Abu Ali. Lol , when Ashraf was really late ... Abu Ali was all like "Ammar .. go out, change your tie, and come back pretending to be the groom ... let's get this thing over with!"

Oh .. organization .. so ppl stood up and lined up to pick their cakes!! I just think it's funny! Isha time came, and Ashraf was not there yet. What happened is that his bride was late at the salon ... so he was just waiting her to get ready ...

At one point, I got really annoyed and just couldn't keep the smile. So, I sought the smile with the kids around me. I simply started playing with them.
In this pic, Ashraf's niece. I took off my jacket and gave it to her. She liked it so much, that I had trouble taking it back!

We prayed Isha, and the Shiekh, mashallah tabarak allah 3alieh, gave a khatera! I am not sure how bad this would sound, but his khatera and the way he said it, disgusted me! If I had known nothing about Islam, I would've thought Islam is ... i dunno ... sounded pretty bad ...

His khatera had few main points. He started with why do we marry? He said: 1) obey the prophet pbuh. 2) to keep the breed of humanity, make kids that is. 3) protect ourselves from Zina!! I was listening, and all what he said was right, no doubt, but that's all to it!

Don't get me wrong, those are important part of marriage, but not the main thing.

I was repeating what he had said in my mind over and over, and they sounded so not right!

I know that's not all to marriage, and all I had in my mind is the what Allah swt said "They are raiment for you and ye are raiment for them" Baqra 187 . This aya just says it all. When we were kids they taught us in school: Why do people wear clothes? People wear clothes for warmth, protection, and to look good!!
It's not only making kids, it's not only a protection from haram. It's two together on route to Jannah! It's two lives got together to be one! Two identities work together on one route. And it's not (he makes money, and she cleans the house.) If he needs someone to clean the house, he might get some room service or something, it's cheaper! It's a couple kicking each other butts to keep going and holding on until the finish line. It's the magic of love, I guess; loving and being loved! (ok .. looking for something manly to do after writing this ... I drank all my iced tea can, crushed it, and thrown it away ... then to get the idiot part of being manly, I got up, and stepped on it by mistake : P )

I heard sheikh Ali Al Tantawi saying, the need to share life with someone (and he wasn't talking about not falling in zina, he was talking about the psychological, emotional aspect of it) is like being hungary .. can you study, work, or do anything when you are hungary?
I love shiekh Ali Al Tantawi ... everything he says makes complete sense!

Anyways, the sheikh really annoyed me the way he presented things ...

After Isha, Ashraf came, finally. We were afraid that he will be all upset and such. When he came in, I saw him laughing, which relieved me. It really doesn't matter what kinna party or whether ppl there are happy for him; he was happy! thas all what matters.

Ashraf sat with the bride for a bit in the girls hall, they wore their rings, danced with her (haha .. I made so much fun about him .. just can't see him dancing!) then came to the men's hall. We walked him inside then everything went on after that ...


ok .. so .. that's not all .. but that's all I can remember ... I always do this ... I have so many thoughts, but when i want to write them down, they all go flying! gone !