Bostorino: A Stranger Journey

My India ...

2009-11-22T18:51:00.001-06:00

We were on the road for a little over 3 hours when Soddama, our driver, took an exit to go to Fatehpur Sikri. Fatehpur is the remains of a some king's compounds. Some king a while back decided to move the capital to no-where-30-miles-outside-Agra. Now, this no-where had no easy access to water. Thus, Fatehpur remained the capital for no more than 10 years.

Soddama had lost our trust 20 minutes into the trip when he got lost in Delhi, and almost got into 2-3 accidents, while still in Delhi. It's scary, albeit normal in India.

The detour from the highway to Sikri took us through small villages and towns. Outside the towns are fields of farming -- not really sure what was farmed there as it still seemed a desert to me.

Sodamma was weaving around the tiny streets trying to avoid all kind of potholes, and the ride was getting more uncomfortable and we were getting more anxious.

"Sodamma, can you slow down," we asked anxiously.
mumbles are all we heard back from Sodamma.
"these water buffaloes everywhere, ha ha ha," he then laughing on his own words. We raised our eyebrows.

Since we got out the highway, water buffaloes were everywhere. Just trolling the streets and having a blast. In side the villages or outside them, water buffaloes were just wandering around. All the villages and towns had a remarkable, distinguished scene: the houses' doors were open, people sleeping everywhere there's a shade and an open air, and, of course, water buffaloes having pool parties.

"Small village ... buffaloes ... poor people .. this is my India," Sodamma said, and followed it with a laugh.

We laughed wondering if he is aware of the depth and dimensions of his statement.

2009-11-16T09:20:00.002-06:00

I should be working. But I am googling volunteering opportunities in Turkey! I. want. to. go. to. TURKEY!

The Solution to Global Warming: Indians II

2009-11-08T16:49:00.002-06:00

New Delhi has a population of 13 million people in almost half the area of NYC that houses 8 millions. While NYC has serious housing problems and keeps rising higher and higher buildings, New Delhi, aside from the traffic, seems unbothered by these numbers and the buildings have an average of 5 to10 floors at most. “How did you manage that, Delhi?” NYC might ask. Delhi would only shake her head assuming that NYC understood the 3000 word essay that a head-shake means in India.

In Delhi, streets are full of life. You have street barbers, Chai-wallahs, shoe fixers, seamstress, broken-waterpipes-turned-public-showers, and peoples sleeping in every corner. To the tourist, this is a “wow, this is so different. Oh, so many poor people. Wow.” To the humanitarian, this is human misery and a sad story. To the raw eye, this is people playing the cards they were dealt, with a smile. Now that is a skill we need to survive global warming. Don’t fix the universe, just change the people.

Europe has three quarters of a billion and over a dozen of languages. So, they decided that they must learn more languages to communicate better with their neighbors in the union. India has a different approach to the issue. It’s called the head shake. “How can I get to Siri Fort Rd?” Answer: head shake. “How old are you?” Answer: head shake. “Did you do Namaz today?” Answer: headshake. “Do you want some Chai Masala?” Answer: head shake. “Is that blood? Do you need an ambulance?” Answer: head shake. This universal head shake can be a broad spectrum of meanings. In fact, it can mean whatever the headshaker wants it to mean. The magic behind this language is that the observant would understand what it means every single time.

What is the head shake? The head shake is the rotation of one’s chin while the point at the tip of one’s head is fixed. To practice such maneuver, place your left hand at the top of your head, and tilt you chin right and left. Keep doing so, until you feel confident to remove your hand. Now, you can speak the language of the headshake … but you can’t understand it. To understand it, you must have some Indian blood in you!

Though, I found that Indians have what might be fatal to their capacity of surviving global warming days – an obsession with fair skin. I did not realize the significance of the issue until I saw Johnny Abrams running shirtless on a beach in an advertisement for Garnier skin whitener lotion … for men. My jaw dropped. It is true, the white race males have been to tanning salons, but never ever McDreamy advertised a tanning solution. That is just unacceptable. But, don’t worry; my plan will take care of this issue. When brown is mixed with white it gives a tan color, thus my plan will produce a perfectly tanned world.

With the Indian genes spread across the world, more people will have the chance of surviving. We shall start in Germany, to help preserve their engineering skills.

And that is how the human race is saved.

The Solution to Global Warming: Indians I

2009-11-08T16:35:00.005-06:00

Global warming is reality, and the world is acknowledging that fact progressively – which is deeply concerning. I am not too worried about melting Eskimos, and endangered Penguins. Ya, Penguins are cute and all – but that is about it. Nor is the super hot days that worry me. It’s the way we are fighting global warming that is scaring me – green initiatives.

With all these green initiatives, what’s going to happen to V12, 6L engine powered super cars using 2 gallons per mile? By the time I can afford one -- 150 years old or so – green movements would have killed those cars off the market. No, a hybrid Carrera GT is not acceptable. Would Scarface been such a classic if Al Pacino used a BB gun for his “lil Friend.” The thought just makes me want to puke. Thus I propose my solutions to the global warming issue, fix the people not the climate.

Darwin has a point – If you have the genes for it, you will survive it. That is when I thought of this plan. If we find the genes that can survive extreme climates and living conditions, we can spread theses genes across the world to immune everyone against global warming giving them the capacity to survive.

Indians.

Indians have what it takes to survive extreme climate. There are over 1 billion of them in India only – not counting all the American, African, English, and non-indian Indians. To accumulate this number, they must’ve done something. Add to it that India is not the perfect climate for the human species. I am not a climatologist, but I am 95.4% sure that India houses all the extreme climates of the world, and none of the desirable California ones. Yet, there are over a billion Indians in India.

They have the full package; reproduced to over one billion in the extreme heat; attained peace with mosquitoes, flies, and other mutant bugs; founded a one sign language that is exclamatory in nature; developed persistency to get what they want from anyone and anything … The list goes on. But I guarantee you that I have never seen such countless numbers live in such extreme conditions so similar to the dooms days Al Gore keeps ranting about.

Weekend Traveling Schedule

2009-07-05T22:56:00.004-05:00

Philly -- July 10th - 12th

Austin -- July 17th - 19th

Fort Worth -- July 24th - 26th

LA -- July 31st - Aug 2nd

Dallas -- Aug 7th - 9th

Chicago -- Aug 14th - 16th

(San Diego or Southern Carolina TBD) -- Aug 21st - 23rd

Dallas -- Aug 28th - 30th

(TBD) -- Sep 4th - 6th

San Juan, Peurto Rico -- Sep 11th - 12th

San Fran -- Sep 18th - 20th

San Salvador -- Sep 25th - 27th

(TBD) -- Oct 2nd - 4th

2009-07-03T15:58:00.003-05:00

On my way to the Mosque today, I stopped for an accident that had just happened. There was a large SUV flipped on its side, and a white Lexus that has no front or engine any more. A group of people were helping the SUV guy climb out of the car. I ran out there to help.

All involved in the accidents were fine. Albeit, extremely shocked. Neither drivers could say anything. Just nodding or mumbiling some voices to answer our questions. The cops were called. Luckily, an ambulance driving by stopped to help as well.

The Lexus driver had some cuts on his arms and all. I walked over to ask him to get some bandage on the cuts by the medics around. He was shaking. Didn't say anything.
"sir?"
"Shit, my daughter just totalled her car last week. fuck, shit," was first thing he said.

Catastrophy!!

2009-06-18T16:52:00.000-05:00

Seriously ... Really!

Handicapped

2009-05-31T10:55:00.008-05:00

It is tough having a handicapped brain. See, my 8th grade Math teacher pretty much told my father that I am retard. No joke, this is a true story. In the parents-teachers meeting, he told my father that I suffer from slow learning disability and it takes me longer than all of my classmates to "get" something. Though, do you know what was so missed up about it? I was there listening to my teacher telling my dad that I am an idiot.

Over the years, these words of ultimate, pure, genuine constructive feedback resonated in my head. Kind of like one of these psycho movie scenes where someone is high on cocaine and scared of his talking shadow. Or may be like a bee that keeps flying around my head hitting the interior walls of my skull. The poor bee gets tired and goes into hibernation, but she comes back stronger and faster. She, the bee, has been living in my head for so long that I could predict when she's coming out of hibernation, which is mostly when it takes me a little bit longer than expected to reply to some common comment as "you look tired today," or a subtle hint "You know the Omni's has free shirt pressing if you stay there," or my favourite "I like your shirt." See, it is not because I am mentally handicapped that I can't reply to such simple comments. It is because I look for the witty, clever, stunning alternative to those over-used, abused, lame, boring, "I was up late last night," "Thank you, I prefer to iron my own shirts," or "Thank you for approving my shirt." It is true it takes me a little bit longer than normal, but only if people wait on me and not give me the "uuhh .. okk ...awkward" look, I would be stunning people with my cleverness and humor left and right. Unfortunately though, the "uuuhh .. ookk ... awkward" look wakes up the bee inside. "You are slooww .. You are tooo slowww ... You are retarded ..."

Recently, I hit a rock bottom low in idiocracy. So low, so dark, the bee gave up and surrendered her life. Last week, a light-bulb flashed over my head for I found something. It was such an enlightening thought that it made my day. In fact, I spent the rest of the day happily and was energetic for a great work-out that night. "Happy man you are today," my co-workers noted after lunch. I would repeat a friend's favourite line, "life is beautiful." I, off-course, lied. The reason for my happy enlightenment was a gross disgusting bogey.

After lunch, I stopped by Dunkin Donuts for re-caffination. The lady at the speaker rattled a barely understandable, "I will be right with you." "All I need is a medium iced coffee," I thought, "but I am not in a hurry to go back to work." So, I did what any man does to entertain himself while waiting. I took my index and stuck it up my nose. Pick away. I was making some good progress up my nose when the lady came back, "How can I help you?" she said. "Can I have a medium iced coffee with skim milk and no sugar, please?" I replied. Flick, flick. back to my nose ... and here it was. Drive thru offers me the opportunity to pick my nose while talking to someone without disgusting anyone! VIOLA! EUREKA!

And here it is, my newly found wisdom setting in front me proving me handicapped.

In my 8th grade, my father listened to the teacher and easily laughed him off when we walked away. "Don't listen to him son. You are smarter than everyone," father said. I found what the teacher said outrageous. My vengeance plan included ruining every class he teaches, and ace every single test in his class. Being the nerd I am both goals were not so hard. I disrupted every class he taught by asking useless detailed questions about every single thing he said. My class-mates loved it, because he could never cover enough material to assign the regular homework.

Eventually, I aced his class. He on the other hand was fired a year later when he bruised a classmate disciplining him.

Currently, I practice my new hobby, picking while conversing, every day enroute to work.

Traveling Schedule ...

2009-03-29T11:11:00.003-05:00

1 - Vail, CO: April 2nd - 5th.
2 - LA, CA: April 10th - 12th
3 - Home: April 30th - May 16th
4 - Atlanta, GA: Weekdays throughout June.

TBD ...
5 - Cleveland (Part-II)
6 - Chicago
7 - NYC
8 - D.C
9 - Seatle: May 29th - 31st (not confirmed)

The Smallest Things

2009-01-24T16:54:00.002-06:00

Today, I got back my second “feedback” from my now ex-team lead, new team lead, and sub-team lead. I came to this conclusion: the smallest things matters the most. Both times I had feedback meetings, all of the comments were related to the most minor things, in my opinion, I done that I never paid attention to. I just did them, because … just because! Pure and honest intentions do surface after all and you can do nothing about. As Ezazul said to me, while we were talking about the Irving masjid and the Muslim Communities, “Don’t worry about the money, it will come. You wont know where it is coming from, but it will. Just have the intentions and act upon it.” Ok .. Ezazul's comment is a bit un-related, but still talks about intentions!

About NYC and Urinals

2008-12-20T17:59:00.005-06:00

Thursday morning, after only 2-3 hrs of sleep, I was standing in-line at DFW smooth talking the Delta agents to let me cross the gigantic, extremely slow check-in line so I can make my flight. Less than an hour later, I was in the plane, on my way to NY, and passed out. Sleeping to the sounds of the jet engines has been my most recent form of nostalgia about school. Engines remind of school; school reminds me of sleeping in class; thus, I am asleep on a plane.

"Are you awake?" the flight attendant said while I was dragging my feet off of the plane. "I .. am working on it," I replied. With no plans, or conscious of what to do, I literally circled the terminal area about six times before deciding on my next move: a visit to the restrooms.

I realized that I really needed to visit the restroom. Really. Urinals were fully occupied, besides I hate using them anyways, so I headed to one of the stalls. Oh my oh my .. I may have thought it was easy feat. A janitor, whom I called the Toilets Guardian, was blocking the way to the stalls.

Our conversation sounded this way:
Janitor: heh?
Me: Nah, eeee.
Janitor: NO NO ..
Me: EH ..

What really happened is this: the Janitor semi-squatted and spanked his own butt, pointing to the stalls with the other hand in a questioning face. Quite the pose it was. I assumed he was asking if I needed the stall for Number 2. So in-reply I leaned backward arching my back and pointed with both hands down below the belt (a.k.a my crotch) twisting my body right and left. He yelled angry at me and pointed at the urinals. I waved him off, and walked to the stall. He literally stood by my stall the whole time I was standing there (and it was a while), creepy, huh! While I was leaving he gave me the evil looks, waved angrily, and cussed at me.

Because of my 10 hours layover, which ironically was about the exact same time I spent in a plane flying to Amman, I went to the city. Again, I had no plans. Wandered and wandered for hours, NY is just fascinating. A friend, future ad hot-shot, works in NY. By the time he was free, combined that he never ever made it on time (that's how I knew he's a hot shot), I thought I had no time to meet up with him. Sorry dude. On my way to the airport I was.

In the airport, yet again another gigantic extremely long check-in line. Though, I need not worry for my luggage is checked in all the way to Amman, and I just need to check in at the self-check-in kiosik. "Pleas, see an agent," that stupid screen told me. Tired and sleepy, words just stumpled outta my mouth when I saw the agent. Before I even repeated to clarify myself, he was yelling at me: "Just answer my question, are you checked in or not? Do you have a boarding pass or not? Just answer my question." Him yelling at me got the words flowing and said firmly, not yelling-lly, "You could calm down, and ask me politely. I could hear your voice, and I do understand your English." Regardless, I walked away and talked to another agent, whom seemed illeterate of how to use those kiosiks, and I had to teach her!! After a couple of more agents I had my boarding pass.

WTH? I don't understand. This time, even when boarding the plane, they had us going through another security check. Take off the shoes, the laptop out of the backpack, etc. An old grandpa was about to walk through that security screening machine. Though, he had forgotten his sweatshirt and his belt on. The security man behind the machine informed him in their, security peaple, firm direct way: "Sir, you need to take off your sweatshirt ... Sir, you, also, need to take off your belt." The grandpa was extremely irritated. His response was: yelling at the security guy and cussing him in Arabic. Security guy standing still. On the other hand, I was cracking up as well as all the other security officers in the room. Only in NY security officers can laugh off such a thing. In Texas, I had the feeling, that such thing would end up with the grandpa cuffed and to the ground.

There is just something about NY.

He was on the Slow Side!

2008-12-01T22:06:00.004-06:00

I am not sure what is it about YellowCab that sends me their worst drivers and cars. I really admired their service, and thought highely of them. Why don't they treat me back with some love. Forget love, just treat me without stinkiness and crazy drivers, puhleeze! After that time when Santa Clause's evil, unemployed brother drove me to the airport, I had a series of stinkiness luck. And I mean literal stinkiness. One guy couple of weeks back was, I swear, dozing off on the highway. I saw him slapping himself to wake up. But that dude at least kept his car going straight. Today's dude was just something ... unique!

By now, I could do my monday morning pre-flight routine while still asleep. I woke up at 4:15 am. I showered, brushed my teeth, dressed up, threw the trash out, and put the NetFlix in the outgoing box. In that order, I did them like a robot. I finished early, and the cab was 5 minutes late, which was enough for me to get that funky tasting $0.45 Mocha coffee from the machine downstairs.

The cab is here. The driver got out of his car. My robot eyes started checking the list. Clean: check. Doesn't Smell: check. Understandable language: check. Looks normal: No-effin-way. He was wearing this big massive chain with this big massive cross hanging at its end, rapper style. Though, he was not like Eminem trying to act black. The "necklace" was just out of place. I could see a similar sized cross hanging from the back mirror. Apparently the guy is serious about what he believes. Fine with me! Though, it got kind of interesting when I found a gigantic, grandma-cant-see-well sized bible on the back seats. (Here for my pleasure reading.) This will be interesting.

Of course, the taxi stunk like a puke. I would rather be cold over asborbed by this smell so I rolled down the window, put on the headphones and kicked back to sleep.

BOOOM. TSK TSK TSK. ZZZZZZZZZKKKKK ZZZZZZKK. Sparks. Swerving. Slowing down frantically. Controlling the car. Pulling to the shoulder.

For some reason, despite that the tires just blow up at a highspeed, and the driver lost control of the car for a little, I was a little calm, rather cool. "Tire blow up?" I said. "Are you calling for another cab, or should I?"
"Oh .. I am very sorry sir. This does not happen often to me." (I really hope it does not.) "I will fix the tire quickly." He said frantacilly.
"No No NO. I have a flight to catch. Call your office and make them send another car. I have no idea where I am."
"Ok, sir." He said while getting out of the car.

Part of me hopeed that coming to a resolution will take a bit longer time so I can nap!

He came back to my side of the car and opened the door, "sir, this gentleman in the van is going to the Airport. He offered to take you with him."

REALLY. Great. Here I am at 5:20 am at the shoulder of Highway 59 N somewhere between Downtown and the Airport. A weird taxi driver telling me to hitch a ride with another van driver, who, chances are, might be a real professional creeper. Hmm ... I really need to get to the airport though. Let me see how creepy is that guy.

Walked to the back. It was a white supershuttle-like van. A peek to the inside revealed what seems a normal guy. O.M.G. I thought, WTH, this is un-effin-believable. He seems normal, and just being nice. I might try my luck.

I was in the van with Brian, who apparently was driving behind us for a while and anticipated this to happen because of the burning he smelled. He was actually on his way to pick up the Eagles band and will be with them for a day as a runner. They are performing at the Toyota Center. Pretty cool. We chatted a bit, and then after a moment of a silence, Brian said:

"Poor guy ... he seemed on the slow side."

Thank you Brian!

When Santa Claus Drove Me to the Airport -- Part 2

2008-09-07T17:54:00.002-05:00

With the mini-van’s open door looking like a black hole leading to hell, I had to summon all my strength to go through the black hole. I start recalling all my victorious, glamorous moments; the heavy weights I conquered in the gym, the pizza bets I won, the Freebird’s Super Monster burrito that I ate, and the street races that I won without killing myself. Oh Allah help me. And I stepped in the mini-van.

As soon as my foot stepped in the van, I felt a gush of air toward my face. I retreated backward, protecting my face with my right arm as if I am on the receiving end of a jab. Regardless of my “professional” boxing techniques, the air gust landed a couple of jab and a left hook on my face. Despite the instantaneous damage to my nose, I could smell what he had for lunch for the last week or so. Though, whether his lunch from two days before was a big Mac or a Chipotle is still a mystery.

Once inside, a slight beam of hope shun over me. He had removed the middle row seats and only left the seats in the back of the van. “Great, I am as far as I can be from him in this van. I may well survive the ride.” But getting to the seat was a challenge. The floor was colorfully planted with all kind of shapes and colors of stains. Some of them looked as fresh as couple of hours ago, and some of them dated back to the van’s factory of birth. With some serious twisting and maneuvering, I made it to the seat. I made sure that there are no dinner leftovers on the seat before I sat down. However, there was no time for relief. As soon as my bottom made contact with the seat, he, HE, started talking.

I wasn’t sincere, nice, or very caring about his human nature when I tried to figure out what was he mumbling. I only wanted to know why he was circling around the block for the third time. I didn’t know. But what are my options? No, I wasn’t going to jump out of the window. No. I don’t miss Fency! (my beloved arm cast.) Meanwhile, I realized that he does own a hair brush. It was over the piles of clothes and papers on the seat next to him. Where they his laundry or his closet? I don’t know. I had bigger problems to worry about; breathing.

Yes, breathing. See, the air felt as heavy and greasy as that Double Mac he probably frequently has (he seems more like a Mac guy, not a BK guy!) My nose and lungs just could not handle it any more. I started playing games with myself, seeing how long I can hold my breath. That was not very smart, because after 30 seconds of holding my breath, the air flooded my nose. It was more painful. My nose threatened to send all the smelling buds home and never get them again if I don’t stop this air attack on them. My nose gave up. I dropped down my jaw, and started gulping that air down. It was rich in flavor.

By the way, HE was still talking. I took out my book and started reading. He was still talking. I put on my headphones. He was still talking. I closed my eyes and dropped my head on my shoulder. He was still talking. I don’t think there was any way to convey to him that I don’t feel like chit chatting. I gave up, again. Put on my headphones, my eyes on my book, while I frequently sent out a “mhm … haha … aha.”

For good five minutes, there was piece in the van. He was talking. I was pretending to listen. We were all happy. Until HE decided to slam the brakes, jerk the steering to the right, sending me rolling on the Vans floor. I stuck my neck up to see what happened. But it was just your average I-phased-out-and-forgot-to-look-up-front-until-the-last-minute-when-I-realized-there-is-a-car-infront-of-me-and-braked-hard case. I survived the incident, no broken bones, and none of the stains on the floor rubbed on my clothes. Now, I had to make sure none of my hairs are on the floor of that Van. I don’t want to be explaining to a team of CSI agents why my hair was found in this van.

The airport was in-sight, and I started seeing the light in the horizon. At the terminal, I rushed out of the van, got my luggage, and handed him the AmEx. When he gave me the receipt, I looked at the tips box. Looked at him. Looked back at the receipt. Looked at him again. Then, scribbled my signature and 20% tips. HE knows where I live!

2008-09-05T00:50:00.005-05:00

Coffee in hand and review questions in another, can't better re-live late-night school days. Only difference is that I am setting in a lobby of a hotel drinking a 6$ coffee for both of which I did not pay anything!
I miss school life style!

When Santa Claus Drove Me to the Airport -- PART I

2008-08-20T19:53:00.003-05:00

Going through the new founded Sunday rituals, I called the Yellow Cab at some point whilst packing. Yellow Cab’s system amazes me. I’ve been using them now for all of my three weeks in consultancy life!

Three hours later, I grabbed few last-minute things and thrown them in the luggage … forced everything to fit in that poor suitcase, and closed it. My backpack on my shoulders, and the suitcase hauled behind me, I was ready to meet my YellowCab! Momentarily, my phone rang telling me that my cab is here. I was excited. Not only I was ready on time, my cab was there exactly on time. You must understand, the idea of having anything, let me, be exactly on time is somewhat of an alien concept to me. Not only that, my memories of waving down cabs, standing in the heat of an afternoon, with the disadvantage of being a male while taxis passed me only to stop for the two girls standing 10 meters away from me, are somehow not pleasant!

My I’m-going-to-the-airport happiness is taking over me, but behind the front glass doors was no YellowCab; it was a blue mini-van United Cab. At the back end of the mini-van were two skinny legs in a once-were-blue jeans supporting an upper body that was either spying on me from around the corner or, hopefully, simply leaning into the back of the mini-van. “Hi,” slipped from my lips. The legs moved revealing the 6’4” tall moving mass. Large beer-belly, rough hands, thick arms, visible veins, wide shoulders, snow white beard down to the middle of his chest. Few bald spots on his head were lucky enough to have covered by his hair, which apparently is not lucky enough to meet any shampoo products. The mass was standing upright now. The hands to the side of his body are almost two shoulder width apart. They are way far from each other I bet they don’t know of the other’s existence.

He walked toward the driver door with his eyes fixated on me. I was not scared, no, not at all. I was just confused, where’s my YellowCab? The confusion was all over my face, while my hand grip was tightening around the suitcase handle. I thought I can throw it at him and then out run him, just in case… you know … but I wasn’t scared.

He finally spoke. “ heh huh hoh hee … bought out … blah bleh bloh,” is what I heard him saying. The fact is my ears were not sure that he spoke English. Whatever he said might as well be German; I had no idea what he said. But again, I doubt he knows of a country called Germany! So, I had a couple of choices: assume that he said YellowCab bought out United Cab and get in the car; object about not having my YellowCab –WHERE THE !@#! IS MY YELLOW CAB—and risk my life. Guess what I chose …

Turns out this creature loves to talk. It, also, turns out that the two words “bought out” where the last two words that I will understand from him.

I looked at the mini-van’s door wide open. It looked very deep, dark, and scary. What shall I do, it’s too late to run; my luggage is already in the car. “look at him … he looks like a retired Santa Claus … He must be nice .. ok .. he is a jolly Santa Clause …” I told myself instilling the confidence to get in that cab ….

2008-07-15T03:46:00.002-05:00

In high school, we disregarded teachers sayings and opinions in a what-do-they-know attitude, which was an excused attitude provided some of the teachers' clear idiocracy. I remember when one time a teacher said, "the more you learn, the more ignorant you become." It struck me as an outrageous statement. Some logic fallacy is all over this statement, I thought. When I protested condescendingly, the teacher said, "the deeper you dive into an area of the more your feeling of ignorance increases." I couldn't argue it as I felt it being kind of true. Of course, I did not show my agreement, and mocked the statement later.

It only took little reading to realize the ignorance. My ignorance.

-----

I did not go on a year long world trip finding myself. I did, though, spend three days on beautiful beaches listening to the sea's random rhythms; sprint across Vienna's streets to catch the train; drive at a whooping 156mph on the highway; read a book in Munich's gardens; watched the Euro2008 final with 60k+ Germans in the Olympic Stadium; witnessed, first hand, some of Bavaria's old traditions. I did not solve the world's poverty, global warming, oil crisis ... not even my own brain crisis. But I re-grouped.

----

-- What do I do? What should I do? This is horrendous. I can't put up with it ... What?
- There is nothing you can do ... just be patient.
-- No ... there must be something to do. No way ... this can't be. This is not meant to be ... it shouldn't be like this. It's just not ... I gotta do something about it.
- Ya ... be patient.
-- I can't ... I need something TO DO.
- Ya .. DO be patient.

----

May be when I step foot back on the ground it will poke. It always does poke then. Though, something is wrong; usually it would be burning by now. It already been hours.
Finally, it is about time I get to walk on the ground. Right foot down ... left foot down ... walk slowly ... nothing ... I feel nothing. Ok ... may be I need to walk a little more. Get my legs going. See the people, and talk to them.
Still ... nothing .. just blank. I feel blank. Why didn't it feel anything? It is the same hallways, windows, floor, walls, ...
Ok, the doors are my last resort. Here it is ... the sun .. the heat ... the smell of the air ... it should poke now ...

blank
blank

dead

----

Back to Austin. Back to the ruins of a kingdom.

The Last of ...

2008-05-16T02:07:00.003-05:00

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." Standing now at the exit gates of my college life, slowly crossing it while looking back at it, that quote is all I could think of.
---
The last couple of weeks were, indeed, the last of many things with which moments, places, emotions, and people's faces rushed in to the forefront of the memory lines creating early nostalgia. I am incapable of faithfully translating the feelings of the past two weeks in words. Furthermore, the symbolic significance of such a milestone is ineffable. It is symbolic for what I feel sums up the last five years if not the more than that.
---
I feel as if college was a sight seeing tour where I am a passenger in a car and the driver driving slowly, in the directions of my desire, while I am watching around. When I am done with the tour, the driver will drop me off at the train station. I have to choose my train, for it will go to the end of the route so quickly that I won't notice that it is the wrong train. Also, it is much harder to change routes. Regardless, the train goes a lot faster than my sightseeing driver. Faster than my ability to absorb my surroundings.
---
The last two weeks I slipt into a not so unfamiliar mood, the bubble mood. It's a weird place to be. You see everything around you, appreciate it, understand it, but simply don't desire to join it and prefer to observe and reflect upon it. I kind of hate this mood for I miss out on many things. But the older the branch is, the harder it is to mold. One has to learn to live with it's weird shape, and build his garden around that weirdly shape branch.

I can't say that I have not been myself, because this bubble mood is a trademark of me. But I can say that it is a severe case of bubble mood. Couple of days ago, someone I know in the gym couldn't recognize me. He concluded the reasons to be equally split between my bald head and my missing smile.
---
With all that is on my brain, I was not sad. I was reflecting on the years gone and life lessons learned until I realized that I have to say goodbyes. It made me really sad. I have a love/hate relation with goodbyes. I can't not say them; I need to say them. Though, saying them never grows old on you. They are always as uneasy as the first time you've ever had to do it.
---
I have always said that I learn the most valuable things from the most unexpected people. So unexpected, even them wouldn't understand how I learned it from them. But they have to see it trough my eyes to understand. Honestly, it is one of the most intellect things I enjoy, looking beyond the lines, looking for the wisdom in everything. Wisdom is pushing it, but ... you get my point.

Four and a half years at UT, I had met many, many people. Some of them went to be that one person I once ran into, others became friends, brothers, and sisters. Regardless to say, I learned a lot from each person. I am grateful to them. I owe them, which makes goodbyes harder. As if I am in debt and can't let them leave without paying off the debt.
---
A corporation sets it's goals based on growth and net profits. At the end of the year, it looks at its results and compares them to the goals. What if the goals change half way through? How can I judge success or failure if the grading rubric has changed? There is one rubric I know of that does not change, the divine rubric. The rubric that talks about what you did for that day after. Sadly, it has not been a success.
---

If my college life was a movie,

2008-04-30T08:25:00.007-05:00

I would want this morning to be the ending scene.

The scene would start with high altitude view of the Central Park pond surrounded by the strangely 8-shaped running track. The sun is sneaking in on us, but one can already see the sun's smile. As the view zooms on the pond, the bird's morning songs are withing hearing distance now. The track is empty except from the squirrels, ducks and pigeons. Busy feather-cleansing, the ducks are ignoring the squirrels race challenges. Right next to the indifferent ducks and hyped squirrels, Pigeons seem busy checking out their giant shadows. Nevertheless, Pigeons come to rescue and protect the birds pride and race the squirrels, only for both them to get distracted by what can be a delicious breakfast scattered on the wet grass.

eyy .. eyy .. you want some of dis? bring it on ..

There is a bald head moving at the other end of the track. The bald head did not seem to disturb the inhabitants morning, rather made their day. From their point of view, how often does a gigantic moving, bald headed, mass run around them with an ear to ear smile saying good morning to them? Not quite often!

Melee's-built to last is playing the background. The scene is not over yet, of course. As the song progresses,

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

There is me in the distance, talking to myself, greeting ducks and squirrels, and tripping over my tall shadows.

(There is no movie without credits, right? And there are no credits without music, right?) As the credits come on, Little Wonders by Rob Thomas is playing.

If my college life was a movie, I would want this morning to be the ending scene.

I would want to ...

WTF moment

2008-04-03T01:50:00.002-05:00

So, I went to the lecture, Not in the Name of God: Questioning 60 Years of Israeli State's Atrocities with Rabbi Dovid Weiss. His argument is that Zionism is abusing Judaism to get a country for Jews. So, they are both different, which is good so far. He goes on and on about how Judaism is against Israel; such arguments that are very powerful in proving to the general public that Zionists are there just for the land.

The most interesting thing, and most important argument of his, is that the problem in the Middle East is that the existence of Israel. Well, he is right. He follows up on that conclusion that the solution to a problem is to kill the real cause of the problem. So, unless Israel is dismantled, there will be no peace. He said that Jews lived better in Muslim societies than otherwise.

My WTF moment came about when I started noticing, not only some Zionist Jews disagreeing with him, but the my the Muslims there, too! I though, WTF. WTF. WTF.

Their comments were along the lines of, "how is this helping? how?"
Or, "how is this going to help the situation there? and how do you expect all jews in Israel to go back to exile!?"
I thought to myself, seriously! WTF! He is talking doing. The whole god damn world thinks Palestinians are some parasite people annoying Israel, just because they "hate Jews." That is not EFFIN true. If the world is educated about the issue, no body supports Israel no more. That is real solution.

The guy's argument is simple. The problem is Israel. The solution is get rid of Israel. So, when they disagree. They are either disagreeing with the first or second statement. In either case, I am more shocked.

I left the lecture laughing, and swinging my umbrella.

Content

2008-04-03T01:45:00.002-05:00

So, I think I just killed the last bit of pride that I had lingering about not working in the Aerospace industry.

I was talking to a friend, who was explaining to me how he is reasoning to himself accepting a job with a military contractors. I felt bad, really sad, because he admitted that he was reasoning to himself that way, because he does not have many options.

Then, five seconds later, I felt proud and happy. I did actually take a choice. I decided what I wanted. I knew what I did not want to do, and did not do it. I was not pushed into something I did not want to.

2008-03-19T22:48:00.002-05:00

Today, I sat in the sixth floor discussion room in ACES, may be one of my favorite spots on campus. If you never been there, and quite possibly you have not, it has those huge large windows through which you can see the Dobie, the tower, and lotsa of skies.

A plane, possibly a Cessna 172, was circling over campus. What a time the pilot was having? I wish I was there. I found myself reminiscing over those days. GREAT times ..

2008-03-17T02:46:00.002-05:00

It's less than two months and I will be out in the real world. My last spring break ever is over. I think I should have used some time for reflection and/or serious thinking, you know, that stuff. But thinking is painful, and I don't like painful.

I am slightly depressed tonight, not exactly sure why though.

I have not been posting much in this blog, and my blog is getting really boring. I need to do something about it. May be give it a serious theme. May be movies reviews! Oh well, that's too serious of a writing. May be I come up with my own style of movie reviews!

Stupendous Theory #301

2008-03-13T22:30:00.003-05:00

This is really aint a theory as much as a life lesson. But, I have not wrote a stupendous theory in so long. So, I called this that.

Today I re-learned something that I had learned hundred, and hundred of times. YET, I keep re-discovering it. As if I have topic-specific amnesia!

The story began early this semester. I was taking only 7 hours of classes, for which reason my financial aid took out 3K off of my scholarships and grants. So, to get back to 12 hours, the minimum to get me back my grants and scholarships, I started scouting for classes.

In the process of scouting to fun, easy classes, I decided to try the fencing class that Nimz, and others are taking. A class in which I fought a white tiger and broke my arm.

So, I did not like that class; therefore, I dropped it and added another weight lifting class, which left me with a work-out class every morning at 8 am. By then, I had 12 hrs of classes.

Regardless, the financial people have realized, after I added the classes and paid the bill, that I can't get a $2k grant, which made me really upset, because I had confirmed with them that I CAN get it. Anyways, without the $2k grant, I would have not had enough for tuitions. So, after semi-yelling at them, and making them go back to review all the phone calls between us, they felt guilty. Their guilt made them cover up my tuition!

Though, today I realized that my broken arm had cost me, so far, $500. ETC (estimated total cost) is about $1k!

So the theory is: when it comes to money and earning, this is complete fate, and destiny. You can only do your best, but you can't control white tigers jumping at you, squirrels stealing your well earned lunch, or you mistakenly trash a multi-thousand dollar model for your company.

21 - The Experience

2008-03-08T00:01:00.002-06:00

I consider myself a movie buff. Though, I think I am a fake one. I do love movies, and, in fact, they are the only art that I believe in. However, I never studied movies. Or, watched those old classical black and white. They are just too slow! I watch a lot of foreign movies. Overall, I am nothing compared to REAL movie buffs I have met. For example, until tonight, I had never been to a special screening, or a movie screening that is part of festival!

This is my last semester in Austin, TX, for which reason I opted to enjoy Austin. Well, I am a nerd after all, and many of what Austin offers does not appeal to me. Nevertheless, Austin does offer a whole lot of things. For example, SxSW festival! Therefore, I decided to enjoy SxSW this year.

I been excited about SxSW. I looked up the movies, and chose which ones I am going to. SxSW featured 21 on the opening night. I was preparing for it and all excited. Leading up to the movie was bunch of my friends bailing out on going. So, no body was going. I almost just stayed at home and did not go, but I am glad I did go.

I went a bit over the hour early. I waited in the cold. Then got it. I was lucky to get a good seat in Paramount. While we are waiting, there were all those VIP coming in and a lot of media surrounding the entrance. A girl standing behind me in line was all curious about who are those VIP people. When asked her, she said that Jim Sturgass, the lead actor (lead actor in Across the Universe, too) is her big movie crush. So, I got all curious about who are those VIP people. She was giving up as no one recognizable face came. A few minutes later, Jim Sturgass, actually showed up. This girl went crazy. She ran up closer to take pictures, and we laughed at her with her boyfriend!

We got in and watched the movie. The review to come pretty soon.

So now I feel super duper specialness. I had watched a movie that no one has access to watch it!

This brings up another issue. The theater experience. See, watching a movie in a theater is completely different experience. I was thinking of the reason. The essence of the reason. It's because when setting in a crowd one has different perspective than when setting alone. If you didn't understand that line, don't worry. It makes complete sense in my head.

The movie was great. Wait for the review.

The backpack that made my day!

2008-03-06T21:31:00.005-06:00

After a very boring Aircraft Design class, during which I entertained myself by coloring the bold letters in the newspaper with my pen, I went back to my place. My apartment door is right next to the stairs, which means that once my vision sight clear the last step I can well see what's on my door.

See, last semester, in the season of job hunting, when I was expecting for a mail any day, I had a habit of looking at the bottom of the door every time I come back.

Finally today, I found an un-expected package at my door. At first, I thought the delivery man had done a mistake. But, when I picked it up quickly, I read my name. So, it's for me! I couldn't read the sender name, because it was in smaller font, and I really had to pee! While peeing, I kept thinking of what is it that I get!

Is it my parents? nah, they would've called my 9823423 times to tell me about it. Is it a company want to hire me? nah, this is too large of a box to be an offer. Only side to care about sending me something would be Deloitte. What would they send me? May be they sent me a framed document stating that I'm fired before I even start. I don't know.

One more thing about me; I love surprises, specially surprise gifts. May be because it kind of takes a lot to surprise me, since my brain has the restless feet syndrome and always wandering out somewhere. Also, growing up, my parents had, what my friend Nimz call Practicality issue. They would not just get me a gift, unless I would ask for it! Seriously! Well, not that they were stingy on me, they were not, which was the problem. They always assumed that I ask for what I need. But, I liked getting some thing without asking! Regardless, I usually got my b'day gifts AFTER I asked for them, which is no fun. No surprise factor!

Anyhow, It took me a long time to dispose of that large intake amount of liquid in the form of coffee. However, I ran out to my surprise box. I read the sender name. It's Deloitte!

Quickly, I opened the box. A shiny new backpack came out of it with Deloitte name embroidered on the front. Awww, they sent me a gift. Wait, there is a card, too. It said, "Pack your bags - you're headed to Deloitte!"

That bag made my day.

Why does Dolling rock?

2008-03-04T23:25:00.002-06:00

Dr. Dolling is an awesome professor. I mean, for once, a professor actually has something to say about NON engineering stuff. For once, he is genuinely funny. His wit humor is not vulgar, it's smart and very real. He seems like he understands that engineering is JUST engineering, and it doesn't teach one a jack about life.

2008-03-03T09:38:00.002-06:00

I just realized that I am exactly two months away from the last day of classes. The closer it gets; the scarier it is.

Rendition

2008-02-29T23:48:00.002-06:00

I just finished watching the movie rendition, and I am really, really pissed. These are my rants after watching the movie. These rants are not really about the movie; the movie is decent. These rants are ignited by the movie, and fueled by earlier happenings today.

Americans, American government, and the culture is ignorant about anything outside it's borders. No, ignorance is a nice word. Let me say stupid, residing at a rock bottom of 7 levels of a stupidity hell. As stupid as an autistic turtle.

All Hollywood's movies show a deep screwed up understanding of the Middle East, Arabs, and Islam. I can say that because I've seen the real image. Ok, not only the movies. The culture, the public, the educated public, second generations, they are all sucked up in the whole fuggin American Exceptionalist culture. For four and a half years here now, I hear it in every persons voice tone; it's "we" and "them." Who is "them?" It's every none American. America and the rest of the world.

What pisses me the most is this; if you claim to be a world leader, wont you know something about the not leaders! It's like me saying, "I won and they lost." How did I win? "Well, because I am stronger than them and I can bench more than them." How much do they bench? "Why the hell should I know? I am the best. They suck!"

I go to UT, supposedly a great educational institution. I, also, meet everyday very smart people, or that's what they said. They can give you the I'm-smartass attitude and argue about things fulla crap. Make fun of all other countries and cultures as if god made only America. If I ask one educated question, people usually stumble in their shoes and mumble about they are "white and dunno nothing outside America." Then effin shut the hell up.

Here is another thing. If you watch TV, non Americans, celebrities, come on interviews or stuff. They always say, "I'm sorry for my English!" I think,"DUDE .. THEY want to talk to you. You are being nice and talking to them in their language cuz they are probably idiots and can't speak anything except English. Crying out loud, don't apologize!"

America claims to be a free country; country of freedom. I honestly believe it's a country free of culture. In some sense, may be that is their culture. Just leave the rest of the world alone.

Senioritis

2008-02-26T00:24:00.003-06:00

A fatal disease infects senior college students once their graduation is in-sight. It's main symptoms are carelessness, lack of motivation, short on confidence, sense of insignificance, regrets over wasted opportunities or/and fun, long sleeping hours, barely leaving the bedroom, and an over all depression. Despite it's serious implications on the human species and building of civilizations, the public are an aware of the dangers laying behind what they assume a myth.

Students, through out their schooling, looked up and waited to move to that upper class; elementary school, middle school, high school, then college. But in college, it seems so long, that students give up on looking up to what is next. In fact, why would they? Unintentionally, students, despite extreme busyness in some cases, open their eyes one day to the fact that it is over. Yes, it is over. After four years full of invincible feelings, one is shocked with the fact that it truly comes to an end. That is the first real life lesson: all things come to an end!

When slapped on the face with a hard truth, one must reflect and think. (Yes, she is right most of the time!) It seems then when the senioritis syndrome is revived. Scientists have argued about the real mechanism of the syndrome. They only agreed that it is coded in each students DNA waiting to be turned on.

It's not treatable or curable! Nevertheless, students snap out of it every day. Some others just drown in it's wrath. Students loose their edge, and get lost in pool of questions: what if? when? what happened? what do I want? really?

Luckily, the Aerospace Department in the University of Texas at Austin is aware of such health issue and prepares it's students for this moment from day one by depressing them everyday!

2008-02-25T22:48:00.001-06:00

I wanna punch a wall, but I only have one arm available now. So, I gotta be careful with it!!

Star Wars according to a 3 year old.

2008-02-24T19:41:00.001-06:00

I never watched the movie, but I think she is hilariously cute!

AerOnion Birthday

2008-02-20T00:57:00.004-06:00

Today is the AerOnion first Birthday. It has been a year. A lot has changed in a year, for better or worst.

Just being part of it is fabulous. I will always and forever owe every single person who's made this happen.

I am full of pride. Different kind of pride, the kind where you know for sure you would've not done it alone!

2008-02-18T23:23:00.002-06:00

I walked in the SGT office today. Jeffrey was there, setting on his chair with boredom all over his face.
"Hi Jeffrey.. How you doing?"
" Maan .. "
"Wat up, Jeffrey?"
"MAAAN .. LIFE SUCKS .. pofff"

Regardless of how sad this statement might sound, I laughed and laughed. He actually made my day.

I am counting down my weeks to graduate, and funny things happen when the curtains are about to fall down. One start looking back, and think! Seriously, I have been ok without thinking. Funnier, closer to the end, one wishes to finish on a high note. This revives a joy long dead. Funny how tricky it is ...

Sound effects of an Aerospace student

2008-02-11T22:27:00.000-06:00

HUH: It's said with jaws down, eyes wide open, and a paralyzed tongue. It occurs mainly at the beginning of exams. However, it appears frequently in many classes: propulsion, Structural Dynamcis, and ALL Dr. Stearman's classes.

EH: Comes out of the throat, similar to the sound of choking on a grape. It roots back to the first Fluids class taught in the department. A student was eating a grape. When asked to solve the Navier-Stroke equation he choked on the grape. Trying to move the grape back up, the sound "eh, eh, eh" came out repeatedly. Now a day, it's the official sign of respectfully refuting a team mate's idea without making them cry.

Mhmm: No body knows the origin of this word. However, it is a daily afternoon happening in the aerospace classes taking place after lunch. It expresses students' utmost carelessness about the lecture topic. So careless they lack the desire to pretend to care. It's nap time.

BUH: The sound of a fist hitting flesh when one pounds on the chest. Back in the days when students where men with handlebar mustaches, when one asked "how did you do in the test?" One would hit on his chest with his fist and says, "I failed with bravery." Currently, it still said to answer the same question. "How was the test?" A single tear moving down their left cheek, the words choked down their throats, "BU... BU... BUH." (Stolen from the Knighthood of BUH)

Speed of Sound

2008-02-08T16:08:00.000-06:00

I dropped my dad and sister at the airport a minute ago. I had brought my laptop with me and drove around to get to Atlantic, a Flight Support kind of a terminal. So, here I am setting in the cafeteria drinking coffee and staring at planes while asking myself the ever living question, "What Happened?"

Regardless, right next to me planes taxiing in and out of the runway. Pilots yelling, "CLEAR PROP." Planes taking off and landing. Ground people running around to help someone with their luggage, or running back to help a plane park. Fancy cars pulling up next to a plane, then someone disappearing behind the back door's tented windows. Pilots performing their preflight check. Student pilots studying up before getting up in the sky. Pilots waiting and waiting for the refueling tank. You know what; I HAVE BEEN THERE. I miss it ...

Anywho, back to my bubbly life!

2008-02-05T19:26:00.000-06:00

OMG .. The AerOnion is coming out tonight, and I am soooo EXCITED

Celebrating Red

2008-02-05T11:26:00.000-06:00

Have you ever been attacked by words? Not peoples words that I mean here; I mean your own words. Rain of words. Just words hunting you in the most awkward times, all the times. A bowl of chaos, that is how I can describe it. That is my brain. It's under attack by storms of words, for which reason I have not been able to productively think recently. I couldn't write anything, let alone, come up with new ideas.

I was told that this blog is very "personal." That comment came out about the same time with my new founded policy of keeping my own business to myself and to not repeatedly bombard my friends with my most innate disturbed thoughts, therefore, nothing has been updated recently.

Regardless, I think it's just senioritis that is happening here.

Detoxing

2008-01-06T00:19:00.000-06:00

For someone my "dimensions" -- 6'0" & above210 lbs -- I am definitely a light weight when it comes to addictive substances. See, I have had doubts over how sensitive I am to Caffeine, but last three days were a confirmative experience.

Now, before I jump right into the story, I want to explain how Arabs, or my family to be specific, work when it comes to drinking (we talking non-alcoholic tea, coffee, herbs, etc. here!) Since my dad quit engineering, around when I was in 7th grade, we never had this typical family day schedule. My dad wakes up whenever he feels like it. He might as well wake up at 8 or 11; it's really up to him as he decides his own schedule on a daily basis. As for my mom, she's been a full time mom since ... well, since she married my dad! Therefore, this household life is organized on intervals of drinking coffee (or, tea!)

The coffee part. The kind of coffee we drink here regularly is the turkish coffee. If you've ever had it, you know that Starbucks espresso is a joke next to it. Mom and dad have to start their day with coffee. That is just a given. No argument. My dad would leave doing his own things, or taking care of errands. Then my mom would do something around the house. My mom would prep some more coffee. Then, start prepping lunch. During which, she drinks, may be tea, for a change. Keep in mind that whoever is around is almost socially obliged to join her for coffee. After lunch, it's normal, for all families, to set around and drink tea. Then later we spread around, each doing his own thing. Then till we sleep, we sparingly drink coffee and tea during the night. The emphasis here is that I have NOTHING to do. So, I am just hovering, and wandering around. Usually, bugging my mom, because I bugged my siblings enough that they are on the verge of an nervous attack. In summary, I have here, on a daily basis, about twice or three times the caffeine doze I get on a busy finals day!!

So, a few days ago, my dentist, which happens to be living across the street and an old friend, told me that I needa stay away from drinking so much coffee and tea, for at least a week. The first day went allright. Second day, some headache started coming up, and I was itching for some caffiene. Third day, I had a headache that was blowing my brain out every second. I woke up, with the veins in my head pulsing so hard, I thought my left eye will pop right out. I took advil. I went to the gym. Still, the headache was pertaining. After lunch, I fell of the wagon. I said "that is it. I am having a huge mug of coffee."

What happened afterward was a blurr. All I remember that I got sooo hyper, I couldn't stop talking. It was similar to that measurements night, about which Ankita says everytime she remembers it, "OMG ... HE just couldn't STOP TALKING." Then, she nods her head as if miserable memories have invaded her brain. A few hours later, I passed out asleep.

and here I am in the morning telling all of ya how I am addicted to coffee.

Deloitte - Amman, Jordan

2007-12-27T23:51:00.001-06:00

A couple of days ago, I was "studying" my future employer, Deloitte, when I found that there is a Deloitte office in Amman. At night, I got in the car, and went looking for it. To my surprise, they've actually moved from the address posted online to a new office that is 2 minutes away from my place.

Yesterday's morning, I suited up and went there. I got in the office and opening line was as simple as "Hi, I'm an analyst with the Houston office. I would like to talk to an HR person." I felt some special vibe sent through my words through out the company. The front desk called in for someone, and within minutes someone was with me in the lobby.

She was very excited on the prospect that I am from the Houston office. Talking in English with a few Arabic words, I explained to her that I want to know what kind of work do they do here and what are the opportunities for me with them. She was very cool about it and offered to show me around the office.

At first, I did not quite understand the full picture; however, when she started introducing me to the partners and directors, I saw it. I was in the strong chair, not the weak one! I was the upper hand, not the lower! Anyhow, they started telling me if I want to join them or not. Some would actually try to convince me to work with them, and some says what are you doing here; GO to Houston.

In the tour, someone ran outta his office and said, "Did I hear ... ?" I look back, and it was a guy I knew from high school. He was a year older than I'm, but we live in the same area and thus rode the same bus for years.

I sat down with one of the Managers in the consulting department. She was very helpful, and gave me all the pros and cons to join Deloitte at Amman over Houston. She was extremely nice, too. We even got to the salary part, and discussed the salaries aspect. To my surprise, I would get about one sixth of the salary I would get in Houston! Later, I sat with my high school friend and chit chatted for a long time.

Despite mostly everyone telling me to take the Houston offer over Amman's, I am considering Amman's. Though, I see it as a distant option, because of the vast salary difference and a lot other benefits; like the graduate school sponsorship. Nevertheless, S, the consulting manager, told me that I look like a guy who does well in consulting. That was a moral boost.

Later at night, it was my cousin's engagement party. There I met her cousin, who is a director in a London based company whose dad owns. We talked for a while; he was very funny and nice guy for an upper level management of a company! Later, he, too, said that I seem like the guy who would enjoy business consulting and does well in. That was a double moral boost!

Glorious Time in the Dark.

2007-12-25T18:23:00.000-06:00

I and Byboon, my 6 years old best friend!

As you may have noticed, I grew a year older yesterday. If you are wondering about the feeling of being 22, it sucks. The number 22 has no magic, flavor, or even bad luck associated with it. It's such a plain number!

Yesterday, two of my aunts families came over for my b'day. It aint much of a b'day party, as much as a get together. (I really refuse to call it a b'day party, as I feel I am too old for a b'day party.) It has been the tradition for a few years now to get together with my aunt's family for either one of us kids' b'day. (this is actually my first aunt, mom's sister. The second aunt is actually my mom's aunt, but she is only a few years older than her and my cousins are our age. So, we are close.) It was special yesterday, because MOST of us kids were present, even one of my cousins, Anas, who I have not seen in years. (When I was a kid he was the teenager cousin to always play with me and kind of spoil me!)

From top to bottom: Mohammad, Anas, (my cousins)

Anyhow, preparation for the festivities started the night before, as my sister spent the evening preparing delicious desserts for the "event." In the same day, my mom baked some delicious mo'ajanat. (it's bread with specific fillings, like meat or cheese or whatever, all prepared at home from scratch.) Also, I picked a special ordered cake. Not to mention that Byboon insisted on her dad to buy me a cake. Not only that, she draw all over the box. The box went into my collections! Then, one of my cousin proved being stubborn and brought another cake despite my mom telling her not to. So, in conclusion, there was enough food for a village!

I could tell , from the beginning, that it is going to be a night hard to forget. Sure enough, you can't forget how you celebrated your b'day without electricity in the whole neighborhood.

Everyone started coming over around 7.30-8. Around 8.30 everyone was present. Five minutes later, the electricity went out in the whole neighborhood! My mom said, "Ammar, this is the first time this happen in two years!" Now, that made the night hard to forget. Me and my cousin Moh'd went to a close by store and bought lotsa candles. Though, at dark it was perfect to sneak into the kitchen and eat from the mo'ajanat!

Our single source of light during the blackout!

The power was out for a while, but that did not stop us from putting all the cakes on the table and blowing the candles. Funny enough, once we blew all the candles, finished singing, and started giving out plates, the lights came back on!! Which was another perfect timing, at least from my cousins perspective. I was under the foam attack. They had four cans of that weird foam to spray on me. They didn't do their math right. I fought back, and took over one of their cans, and SPRAYED back!

Trying to run away from the spray.

Thas what happens to whomever sprays me!

After that, we got busy eating. The food was delicious, and my sister deserves all props. Lucky me and all my friends, she is visiting me in January, and promised to show off her skills while visiting!

The night lived for hours after that with laughter and conversations. This gathering was the best b'day present I would ever ask for, and one I will cherish forever.

That's how they greeted me!!! I don't have to say that I ended on the floor!

3 Years Short of a Quarter Century!

2007-12-23T10:24:00.001-06:00

The rest of day #1 was EVENTFUL. The morning was chaotic with Biboon, Noura, and Lyala. The kids were all over the place, literally. Biboon was playing with her barbies and teddy bears all over the house. Noura is like the Energizer bunny; she just keeps going! Below is Biboon between her Barbies and Teddy bears.

Then, the highlight of the day was the lunch. Despite the nature of the meal, let's say that I had my favourite meal of ALL, which I hadn't had since last time I visited. It was just glorious! Below me swimming in the bowel of food.

After that I, my mom, and my sister, went to visit an aunt house. Again, GREAT times. I love this aunt, and she actually likes to see me!

THEN, my uncles came over to say hi, since I just came back from travelling. By now, my memory has been revived on the whole family drama, and all those internal complicated relationships. A while ago, I thought it's only us, Middle Easterners, have these kind of family drama, which in my brain becomes a melodrama adding to it songs like Yesterday, or Sad Lisa. Nevertheless, I came to the conclusion that the eastern culture has more complicated family relations; however, wherever family relations exists, drama exists.

Ironically, I don't get enough of that kind of drama. I was smiling ALL day long, I kind of missed it. Mom and dad are like down on excitement and mumbling all those references to previous incidents that I have no clue about. But I was ready for some drama.

With my uncles it's words game. For example, everyone now is asking me what I am going to be doing after graduation. I answer proudly that I already have a job; I already signed the papers! (I faxed them in Yesterday, which I am starting to worry that there will be problems coming with that!) So, back to my uncle's words game. One of my two uncles says how he thinks McKinsey's work is a joke. Then he advises me to not go in consulting first, for getting an industry experience first is more important. He utterly believes that one can't be a CEO of company unless he/she has worked as an engineer for long time. Of course, all that sayings were to belittle my work. But I replied nice and firmly saying that it aint a necessity to work as an engineer. Consulting is more fun, more experience, and looked up to as an experience for an entry level. Also, how a 2 years in consulting looked to as twice that time in industry experience. That is just how it is seen! I, also, exaggerated a bit that NI wanted me REAL bad, and I declined them cold hearted. When him and his wife went a bit far in advising me about "life," I said "this conversation is a bit late, because it's all settled. I signed the papers."

As for Sunday morning, had breakfast with mom and dad. Then, I realised that I burned the AC adapter of the Wii. Seriously, it's 120V and I put it in 220V plugs! I am RETARD. Though, my sis got to play like 15 mins in it.

Then, I hit the suites place with my dad. I love this place. Jordanian brand name suites; though, quality is superior and fits are great. I go there, and one guy follows us showing us all the suits they have. They host us coffee and whatever. Don't get me wrong, the place is fancy. It's like a Saks Fifth Avenue fanciness level. I love it! All my suites are ZAY.

Today, I grew a year older. I don't have time to think and reflect, because I am busy getting fat on all the delicious desserts my sis made and the awesome cakes!

Day #2

2007-12-23T10:24:00.000-06:00

Day #1 was EVENTFULL. The morning was chaotic with Biboon, Noura, and Lyala. The kids were all over the place, literally. Biboon was playing with her barbies and teddy bears all over the house. Noura is like the Energizer bunny; she just keeps going! Below is Biboon between her Barbies and Teddy bears.

Then, the highlight of the day was the lunch. Despite the nature of the meal, let's say that I had my favourite meal of ALL, which I hadn't had since last time I visited. It was just glorious! Below me swimming in the bowel of food.

After that I, my mom, and my sister, went to visit an aunt house. Again, fun times.

THEN, my uncles came over to say hi, since I just came back from travelling.

Trip home and Day #1 (updated)

2007-12-22T04:07:00.000-06:00

I didn't bring my laptop with me here, but I will try to blog every day happinings using my sis laptop daily.

This trip was titled with security issues. First thing, I won the special screening gift in Austin airport. Not only that, my back bag set off the security alarms because it contained some explosive materials! It took them about fifteen minutes and checking every singly corner of my backpack to check that it did not have explosives. It's only because it's dirty as hell and because I ride in it on my back on the streets all the time.

The trip to Chicago was on a United Airlines Embraer 170. Hands down, the Emraer is a nice plane. Seats are awesomely comfy, and plenty of space for legs. My flight from Chicago to Amman was delayed from 10 to 2.30 am. My cousin, who was traveling with me from Chicgo to Amman, and her uncle picked me up from the airport and invited me to dinner at Outback. Now, I have never a guy that much easy to talk to the first time. He was funny, smart, and not nosy. Somehow he got to a point where he said I might be gay, but in the context it was hilariously funny. In anyways, he might as well punched me in the face and kicked me in the balls then kicked me while at the ground!

Eleven hours on the plane went by quickly, specially that I slept the first 8-9 hours!

Home is Home ... I was standing at the airport when I found ppl starting to get upset because the luggage has not came out yet. I smiled, and got a chill bump. My brain said to me, "You're home, it's been a long time."

This time was the awesomest time to arrive at the airport. All the people I love and keen to see were waiting at the airport; mom, sister, dad, cousins, more cousins, and even bayboon came to the airport! Coming out from behind those walls was magical. As soon as I saw my cousins, the scene turned to a huge mex of yelling, waving, and goofy faces. It was rather confusing with all the huggings. Who should I start with? Seriously, it was confusing. My mom got lost in the crowd. I had to go between all of them looking for her. "Hi, I missed you. I will come back when I see my mom!"

A lot has changed. For example, I knew my sister had started driving, but seeing her behind the beloved old family benz's steering is just weird; however, she deserved my props as an awesome driver. My kinna awesome driver!

My family had renovated the house over the summer. I didn't recognize it! Seriously, I couldn't. It's sad. I want my old house back, but this is prettier! and my mom loves it.

This morning woke up early. Had some awesome fun time with mom and sister. Then, Biboon, Noura and their baby sister came downstairs. Oh, before that was gift giving time. I am glad. Everyone loved their gifts. I even found out that my dad has been smoking Cigars recently! Then, the Cigar I got him was PERFECT!

Yet again, I make sure I got my skills down and perfect with kids. Biboon, 6 years, has been waiting for me for two weeks. Her sisters don't remember me. So, my mom warned that her two years sister is a bit shy and gets scared of new comers. Not me though. It took her an hour, and she was on my shoulder! As for the 7 months sister, she was crying and her mom was getting tired of her. I took her, walked around with her, and put her to sleep in less than 15 minutes! I AM GOOOOD!

No matter how away I've been, how long, or distant. Being around the family is the sweetest time.

--------

My mom gave my cousin the camera to take pictures of me when I was arriving. Cousing, though, managed to take only ONE pic. It happened to be this pic. Laugh or cry, thas me coming through the gates waving to everyone!

Phone Calls

2007-12-18T14:00:00.000-06:00

Time 11.13 am. Place, driving to HEB. Phone rings.

- Hi Ammar? This is (---) from Booz Allen recruiting.
-- yes .. Ammar speaking.
- Well, sorry for not coming back to you yesterday, but I was waiting to get all the information I needed.
-- Not a problem.
- I was informed that we wont extend you an offer.
-- ok ..
(silence)
-- wont?
- yes, wont.
-- Do you have any feedback?
- no.
-- well thank you very much.
- Thank you too.
(Phone call is over. Ammar a bit confused. Ammar speeds up and hunks on everyone in the strt.)

----------------------------------
Time 12.49 pm. Place, my bed watching Two and a Half Men. Phone rings.

- Hi, Ammar? This is ( ---- ) from Booz Allen recruiting services.
-- Hi!
- Well, I talked to you earlier, and I did not have any feedback.
-- aha ?
- well, I just wanted to say that the team did have a positive feedback about your interview.
-- but?
- the team decided to hold back on giving offers to any entry level consultant for this quarter; however, we liked you and keeping you in mind. I would like you to keep in touch with me, and when start extending offers we will see where you are and such.
-- Well I appreciate you calling me back and letting me know. I am probably signing an offer soon; however, I will be open to listen to what you have in the future.
- Well, keep in touch.
-- Definitely.
- Thanks
-- Thanks

(Ammar is confused but not as depressed any more!)

Morning

2007-12-17T07:49:00.000-06:00

5:50, my radio alarm went off.
5:51, I crawled to it and snoozed it.
6:06, my alarm and phone went off at the same time. Turned off my alarm, and phone. Sent a msg to Nimisha that I am up.
6:30, closing the door, while carrying my empty coffee mug, bottle of water, and the bread-sticks I baked last night.
6:47, Nimisha and all of her luggage are in the car, and we are on the way to the airport.
7:25, a bird decides to decor my front windshield.
7:30, JP's Java gives me coffee for free, because I don't have cash and they didn't want to run my card.
7:53, writing this blog.

I have my last final today, after which I am going to the mall to finish all my shopping. Then, getting ready to go home.

Tales of Mere Existance #1

2007-12-16T11:59:00.001-06:00

How to break up with your girlfriend in 64 easy steps!

I want to learn

2007-12-16T01:39:00.000-06:00

I want to learn how to play the drums.

I want to learn how to juggle FOUR balls .
I want to learn how to ride a unicycle.
I want to learn how to juggle while riding a unicycle.

I want to get a red Macaw parrot and call him Adnan, and teach him how to sing Pollyanna's song.

I want to learn how to ride the motorcycle like he does

2007-12-16T00:51:00.000-06:00

It's 9 minutes till one o'clock. I could not sleep, so I decided to study. After reading a few pages, I found myself looking up pics of Cisse's famous injury. The picture is not photoshoped. This is real! I can't imagine the pain he was going through in that moment.

Life is Wonderful

2007-12-14T23:48:00.000-06:00

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying
---

I have been feeling so plainly, or in other words; I have been feeling blank. Therefore, rarely writing because I don't feel like writing. Today. Today was one of those days where one feels something. Have you ever felt a fact, wisdom, or a saying? Something said by the young and the old; the childish and mature; the crazy and the sane. You've known it before. You've seen it. But you've never felt it. Until a day, a moment, where you say "aaaaaah."

---
It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes some words to make an action
And it takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction
---

I have been criticized about getting so excited about something; getting upset about minors; or letting small things disturb my mood. True, sometimes it's not a good thing, but I call it living the moment to the fullest. How can you appreciate salt and pepper if you have not eaten a real, real plain food? Or, how can you appreciate Mozart if you have not heard Brittany Spears singing? It's just more flavor that way. If it is a funny thing, I am going to laugh until I cry. If it's a stressful thing, I am going to feel nervous. If it's a sad thing, I am going to feel sad and shed tears. I am going to talk about it, because I talk about everything and anything.
On this topic, Islam is just great. Islam teaches us how to give out to others the things we love the most. That way you really appreciate the things you have. Omar bin Al Khattab once asked someone why is he buying some sort of food, and the guy said: "I felt like it." Omar said,"Everytime you feel like something you get it?"

---
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la
---

My awesome flight instructor, whom I really owe learning how to fly, said once,"dreams and desires are what get people thru life." Ok, so probably he did not come up with this outta blue, but I like quoting him. Anyhow, I am afraid of uncertainty in the future. Well, I hate to not know what I am doing. I feel like things can crumble in a second, unless I think about it. I aint talking about tomorrow future, I am talking about next year future! On the other hand, I get frightened if I can see the rest of my life lied out for me. For example, when I worked in Boston, I walked in the office and imagined that I've graduated and I am coming to the same office every day for the rest of my life. That is just SCARY! So, bottom line, an idea of where I am going but with a slight touch of uncertainty.

---
t takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other
---

I've always had problem with adjective. I just can't describe things by word. No joke, right? I met a person today. Right away in my mind, I had him/her classified in some specific class. Then a friend said,"she/he is COLD." I thought, "That is the word for these people!!"

---
And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
And it takes some fears to make you trust
It takes some tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to HAVE it polished
---

I aint smart, but my brain works weirdly. Example? How does my brain make a joke? I notice something. Goes to my brain. My brain processes it, and connects it directly to a previous event, or most often a TV-show/movie. My brain think about that event, or TV-show/movie. My brain assumes few things, and based on the assumptions a joke slips outta my mouth. The result is a hilarious, coded joke that implicitly is the nicest thing I've ever said, though a mean one on the surface. In addition, the punch line was so processed and chewed up in my brain amidst all the assumptions that I have to explain a whole lot about the joke. AND THEN, I get an 'aaahh .. he he he'

---
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la
---

A friend once told me that he has different hats for different occasions. I like that. I want to master my hats. My hats are all tangled together. I want to make it clear and like a switch. I am going into a kindergarten, so I turn on the goofy switch. I leave it to a business meeting with a CEO, so I turn the goofy one off, and then turn the formal-I-am-so-important switch on!

---
It takes some silence to make sound
And it takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to MAKE a mountain
---

Is it a good thing that what's in your mind/brain/heart is all on the out? I think it is. It's got to be controllable to not be hurtful to others. But hey, that helps in getting a clear pure mind/brain/heart!

---
Ah la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la la life is full of
Ah la la la la la life is so full of love
Ah la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la life is full of
Ah la la la la la life is so full of love
---

I just want to think. No, not like a thinker, more like creative weird things. One day, I will have a firm that sells ideas!

---
Aya and Rya me cousin's baby twins playing on their slider in harmony! Don't you wish you go back to those days?

Hot/Crazy Scale

2007-12-11T07:38:00.001-06:00

Dream Trip

2007-12-02T13:41:00.000-06:00

Wednesday night, I received an email from my recruiter at Deloitte telling me that I am flying on Thursday afternoon to Houston!! Which I was not planning on it. Two weeks before that, I said that I want to go to the event in Houston; however, nothing was confirmed to me, so I assumed I am not going. Anyhow, I wanted to make the trip but had so much to do. Therefore, I re-scheduled to fly to Houston at 6.30 am, and come back at 2.15 am. I wanted to come early to catch TBP initiation.
I woke up at 4. Dressed up, and was on my way to the airport. The flight was delayed, for a lot of fog in Houston. I decided that if they delayed it more than 30 minutes I am going home. At exactly 30 minutes delay, they said "Please, board the aircraft as fast as safety permits. We want to leave Austin before Houston ground says no again." I knew I was going to be late, nevertheless, I boarded the plane. Honestly, I've never traveled with Southwest, and I couldn't mess that chance. It was a large 737 with lotsa of empty seats. I sat next to the window couple of seats behind the wing. I let my head fall on the window and fell asleep as soon as we took off. I woke up while were descending. What woke me up was a feeling of the aircraft climbing up at full throttle. Not a very strange feeling as I am very familiar with go-arounds; though, I have never experienced them in a 737. It was heaven! Ten minutes later, the pilot was assuring the passengers that even after the second go around, everything is fine and it's a matter of lots of traffic. I thought,"Ya, right." So, there we were doing go-arounds in a 737 and circling Houston. Was that the best trip I've ever had or what? I am not being sarcastic. It really was a dream trip! How many times do I get to board a plane ride around for an hour and a half, without paying for ANYTHING.

We went back to Austin. I drove home, and called them in Houston telling them that I wont be coming. I ate breakfast and slept till Juma.

For those that don't remember, I tried to join Tau Beta Pi last Spring. I couldn't make it, as toward the end I was very busy :P Anyhow, this semester I barely made it, but I was ecstatic about it. We go through the initiation process, which I can't tell about here, because it was surrounded by secrecy! Let's say it was great and marvelous.

After that there was the elections for next semester officers. I had in mind that I wanted to run, but was not exactly sure which position. When they got to the third position after president and VP, Candidate's Secretary, they explained what this position does. I knew that usually this position is taken by someone from within the former officers, but in a split second I decided to run for it. It was the best position for me from those up there.

I went up and did my electoral speech. I did what I do best, public speaking. I had to extempore (thanks Nimisha for the word), because what I thought of before going there was for another position. Five minutes later and I won the Candidates secretary position. WAHOOO.

Anyways, back to studying!

ThanksGiving, AerOnion and lots of fun!

2007-12-02T13:14:00.000-06:00

Last weekend was the thanksgiving weekend. Two nights before the thanksgiving, Dr. Neptune invited me over to his house for another thanksgiving dinner. That day was MARVELOUS. As a rule, he asks all the invitee to bring a dish that is served at home. Sure enough, I prepared for the fest, as Ammar is ready to "make" something. Part of the preparation was to have a back up plan. So, I went to Phoenicia the day before, and I bought Barazak, cookies covered with sesame. Then, I went to HEB. I bought the ingredients for my home made recipe. I bought: YOGURT, CUCUMBERS, ANNNDD fresh mint leaves!
The thing I "made" was cut the cucumbers in small pieces pour them in the yogurt. Then added salt and cut mint leaves! The result was my favorite Khyar be laban salad (literally translated, Yogurt and cucumbers salad!) Mission accomplished.

Out at the Neptunes', there were Carry, my TA from last year, and Mike, a master student taking Dr. Neptune class, and Mike's wife. We talked; played football with Aleka and Kinderek; played Go-Fish, until dinner time. The table was full of delicious traditional thanksgiving food. I have to give props for the pineapple cranberry sauce, yumy! What was different is that Dr. Neptune's wife saved some stuffing without bacon for me. That was the nicest, most tasty notion ever.
After the four or five courses meal, Derek and McKelly were up. Now, the fun begins. We played pin the tail. So, there is a turky pic on the wall. Each one has a tail sticker that has to put it as close as possible to the actual tail position; however, one is blindfolded and spun until dizziness! We were competing for a HUGE Hershey chocolate bar. Mike won it : (

After that, I started a parade with the kids on our shoulders running around the house. Lots of fun, and good times I will remember for long long times (until I get Alzheimer!)

After that, Hasan and Fuad came over to my place. We hung around till 2 am. Lotsa of fun. (Let's say we were setting my living room, complaining about how much we ate while snacking on some chips and avocado sauce. Add to the mix some smoke in the room, for visual effects that is :P)

That weekend, I was working on putting the Third AerOnion together. I was a bit disappointed that most of the team did not deliver its work by the deadline. I was also worried about how this issue will come out, but Nimisha, who was on fire, came to the rescue with amazing pieces like the Dr. Fowler article and the poem. Monday night, I was at campus till 5 am distributing. Tuesday morning, the AerOnion was drawing smiles at sleep deprived students' faces.

Comments:
"Excellent work guys," Dr. Bishop
"Fabulous," Therese
"You knooo that I have a liberal arts degree .... your classes will start disappearing mysteriously," Sarah.
"Finest work so far," Gail
"It's got a different flavor," Odin
"My wife read it, and loved it," Dr. Bishop
"He read it to his wife. She laughed so hard; she cried!" Therese quoting Dr. Fowler.

Me, my interviews, and my self destruction buttons

2007-11-17T00:27:00.000-06:00

I have had quite enough interviews so far. Some went great, and others not so great; however, those interviews that matters the most have followed a pattern: self-destruction!

I was never prepared for an interview, meeting, or a specific event as much as I was for the interview with Booz Allen in Chicago. I had sort of a profile of my "work" printed and addressing each of my interviewers put together in bounded folders. But, it fell apart for one reason, too comfortable! I owned the case interviews, but I did not appreciate the fact that those are partners I am interviewing with. It sucks, because I knew that Booz Allen is formal business company, but under stress, real goofy me comes out and all formal protocols in my system fall apart. So, here I was in Chicago, proving how smart and childish I can be. Fair enough, they are smart people; they saw that I am can do the job, but they did not see an old enough me!

Next in-line is Booz Allen at McLean, VA. I have not done much preparation. Or may be I did just as much, but I was more efficient. Though, I did not have bounded profiles of my work addressed for each interviewer!! Anywho, I froze my ass walking to Booz Allen headquarters. I was repeating to myself that I need to be formal, blah blah. I almost forgot, but the fellow candidate I met at the entrance reminded me with that when she started talking like a recorded tape. There were four interviews lined up for me.

I walk right into the first one. I can not hesitate a second to say that I OWNED that first interview. I felt great, and I saw their offer coming my way. Second interview started with the regular traditional questions: why us? why blah blah? ... those are fine. What happened afterward was the disaster. Briefly, the interviewer eat my resume, digested it and pulled a case outta his ass and asked me to solve it. That is not enough. While I was trying to crack that literally-full-of-crap case, a not so unfamiliar voice got my attention. It was Paul McCarthy whining about his problems and dreaming of Yesterday. "EFFFFF ... I forgot my phone on," I thought. It was down-hEll from there!

Later in the day, I found a missed call from Deloitte recruiter. She informed me that they gave me an offer. Lousy lame yay came outta my mouth. Once I got home, I checked my email. I was/am shocked by the numbers. They are quite unexpectedly HIGH for that position. Even, the signing bonuses are like A LOT. I was not done being surprised and getting excited, when I read that the offer is in Houston office. "EFFF ... I did not even mention Texas in my applications." Houston is a deal breaker. I honestly would not go there, unless of course it's the only and last job offer that I can possibly get!! If they want me in Texas, I might as well stay in Austin.
Also, they want me to start working in July! HaHa. I need like 3 months break after school!

Ya, Changes !!

2007-11-10T22:44:00.000-06:00

Earlier today, after an awesome morning spent at Zilker park having fun, planting trees. I spent the whole day at my place. I ate lunch, read my controls book, watched lotsa shows online, and worked on polished my bent, ALL setting the same spot. Upon hours of thinking and contemplations today, I had decided to do changes in my lifestyle.

I just got back from FreeBirds. When I left my place, I had the intentions to do grocery shopping at HEB. Though, the story went like this. When I passed Free Birds, "man, I have not had a burrito in forever," I thought. "Oh, that Super Monster Burrito." Then, I pass by Hollywood Video. "Chuck and Larry came out last week on DVD," I wondered. Then a brilliant idea came to me. "I will go to Hollywood Video. If they have a copy of Chuck and Larry, I will rent it. Then, I will got to Free Birds and buy their super monster burrito."

Now, here I am setting at my place with super monster burrito and Chuck and Larry about to be played.

Ya, changes ...

A Bit tooo Informal

2007-11-05T14:37:00.000-06:00

I got an email back from my Chicago based interviewer. He said,"at the end it came down to that you are a bit too informal/casual, and the competitive was high."
I admit that I was a bit informal with him, but with the rest I was not. Even though, it was extremely hard to be when the interviewer is asking me unrelated questions like: what does my dad do? or, where am I originally from? or which high school I went to! Seriously ... how am I supposed to be formal when they are asking me such questions. Oh well, their loss.

----

Thinking about it now, I am a little at fault. I have read about Booz Allen being very formal, and yet, I didn't show my super duper formal face. URGH

----

The feedback is still coming in from the Chicago interviewers. I just had a quick phone call with the Chicago based interviewer, and he said that he felt "bad" that I was not chosen. He said that the others said that "My look/presence does not give the maturity a client wants to see."

The Story of Wendell Baker

2007-11-03T17:44:00.001-05:00

"It's hard to keep you idealism when you've lost your innocence. That is what I like about you."
-----
you have to watch that movie.

BAH

2007-11-03T08:19:00.000-05:00

So, Booz Allen in the Middle East turned me down too. First, I am not only disappointed; I am frustrated. I know I did well in the interview, and I know I deserve that position. I am disappointed because as for now, this is the last option I have that will take back to the Middle East. Now, I need to rank my priorities and see what ranks higher, getting a job or going back there. I can always just pack my stuff and go back home.

On the other hand, I am frustrated with them. Working with Booz Allen, I dealt with two kind of people, U.S.A based people and Middle East people. U.S.A based people were extremely nice, professional, and on their word. They replied to each email I sent, and called when they promised to call. In the interview, they were professional, and asked me relative questions. As for the Middle East people, unfortunately, they were unprofessional. The two Middle East people that interviewed me asked me all kind of trivial questions unrelated to the job, and rarely replied to my emails or called when they said they will call. Last night, I had to call the international recruiting manager on her cell phone to know their decision. She said, "I am busy, can I call in 5 minutes." Sure enough, she did call in 5 minutes. When I apologized for calling on her cellphone, if that is inappropriate, she sincerely said to not worry. "Thats why I gave it to you," she said. When I told her that no one has contacted me, she sincerely apologized and told me that she will email them so they contact me on specifics, and to call her directly on her cell phone if no body contacts me by Monday.

This morning I woke up early, prayed fajr and stayed up. Cleaned up a little, and watched Two and a Half Men while eating breakfast. Funny enough, the episode I watched was as if it is made for me! It was about Allen realizing that Charlie, his older brother and whom he "sponge off", has no income and his business is dying. Allen freaks out, because if Charlie has no money, Allen has no place to live. Charlie is indifferent and kept saying, "something will turn up." By the end of the episode, Allen joined a drug experiment so that he can earn some money; however, Charlie, while watching Allen suffering the side effects of the experimental drugs, gets a phone call outta blue from his girlfriend ex-husband to record kids songs for tremendous amount of money. Charlie turns to Allen and says, "told you something will turn up." Allen fates, and I laugh.

That just reminded me that I can try as hard as I can as much as I want, nothing but what's meant for me will happen. So, only thing I can do is to keep at it, and something will turn up!

Post-interview

2007-10-29T22:36:00.000-05:00

I am writing this post by 4:31pm Mon. Oct. 29th. I am setting in the O'Hare Airport looking at an AA 737.
Yesterday I blogged briefly about the pre-chicago period. Well, Chicago trip is almost over. Yesterday, I got in O'Hare airport around noon. My cousin husband came and picked me up to have lunch with them. Despite my delusional state of mind, and an unbelieving look at where I was, I was excited to visit them. Well, I am excited about visiting my cousin, but more important was her three kids. A 3 yrs girls twin, and a 7 months old boy.

The moment I got in their house, I started playing with the kids. More or less, it was trying to befriend them as they were very shy. I would carry the boy, Bilal, he would stare at me for a minute, and then start crying. I was never able to break into his circle of trust, as he went to sleep shortly after I arrived.

As for the twins, Aaya and Raya, pictures below. They are gorgeous! They, too, were very shy, and wont let me play with them, specially Aaya, but that all changed when we went out to play. First, I started running with them, and of course losing to them. Then they remembered their little plastic slide. That is when they totally ignored me, and went sliding.
I liedd down on the grass watching them play. It's amazingly cute how they play together in harmony. What was impressive
is their routine play. They would cut the grass, pour it on the slide and slide on it. After each slide, they clean out the old grass and put in new grass!! (I have captured this process by pics, I will post soon).
My theory is that when they put the grass they slide better, or it tickles them; for some reason they love it. When they slide on it, they smush the grass, and it no longer works as they want it! Kids are amazingly smart!

After that, my cousin husband drove me downtown to where my hotel is, Renaissance. I checked in, and went upstairs, 16th floor, and a bit. After I prayed Magrhib and Isha, I went down to walk and get some stuff from a convenient store. I found my interview location, and looked around till I found a 7-eleven. I bought some water and snacks for the night. Outside 7-Eleven, I found a cigar store. I thought,"a cigar goes really well with a suit." I bought a cigar in anticipation for the interview-aftermath.
Talking about aftermath, I realised that I usually treat a happy aftermath and a depressing aftermath the same, by eating!

It's worth noticing that Fuad, suggested that I take NyQuill to sleep early. Keep in mind that I did not have a runny nose.
Anyways, I bought some NyQuill from 7-eleven. I took the NyQuill and lied down on bed chatting on gmail waiting to fall asleep any minute. But, my nose start getting congested, and I was not getting any sleepy. I looked at wrapper of the thing I bought, I realised that I bought DAYQUILL instead!! urghhh, it took me a while to sleep, specially with the congested nose,
that is totally caused by dayquill!!

Woke up early, prayed fajr, and waited for my breakfast. (Room Service ROCKS) I put on my suite, packed, checked out and on my way to the interview. I left my luggage at the hotel.

When I got to Booz Allen offices, at the 23rd floor, two persons were setting at the door registering candidates, one of which, Rima, I have had contacted her before through email. So, we talked a little and she walks me to the waiting room, which had a fridge with sodas, water, and BEER! Now, why would they have beer there? I dont know. Anyways, I was setting there and Rima kept coming back and forth talking to me. It was fun. She works off of Beirut office. So she was telling me all about the nice things in their offices and such. In the waiting room, there were a lot of candidates, but all of them were MBA's. I was the only undergrad. It made me feel good, to know that I was the only undergrad being interviewed. The other MBA started given me advices and recommendations of what to do.

My interview started. I pretty much had 3 interviews. One hour with each interviewer. The first interviewer was a principle
in the Chicago office. I assume principle is like a level below a VP, or something like that. Anyways, he asked me a quick question about a project I did. Then, he jumped into the case question. I started well, and I was asking good questions.
Almost every question I asked was answered with lots and lots of information. I was going on the right direction, until at the end he asked me to answer a question I, myself, asked him using a piece of information he had given me earlier. I missed that, but he calmed me saying that almost everyone misses it. A funny thing is that I came in the first interview a little too relaxed and over confident.
I sat down in my chair, put my right leg over my left, and relaxed. When I asked about feedback, at the end, the interviewer said that my body language was a bit informal, and that I should at the edge of the seat leaning forwarad in attention to the interviewer. He followed up saying that these are standards for MBA students, but will make me go from good to very good! In the small break after the interview, an MBA student, was nice enough to tell me about this setting. Though, he adviced to set however I can think better! Nevertheless, I mastered that MBA standard setting!

The second interview was with a VP for the Middle east offices. Let's only say that he was arab. So, he was different from the first one, in that he went through all the regural uncle questions; where are you from? which Asfour are you? What does your dad do?
blah blah. Anyways, he again, went directly into the case study. I don't remember anymore if he asked me any questions about my resume.
He gave me a natural gas in the gulf case. I think I did pretty well.
It was different from the first case, as he asked me questions on the go, and was asking specific questions.
I think I did pretty well. allhamdulillah.
Again, I go wait for 15 mins while the last interviewer comes and get me.

If I am not getting an offer from Booz Allen, it would be from the third interviewer. The third interviewer did not seem to like me that much.
The case went OKish. He had to spoon feed me an answer; however,I did get all the answeres he wanted. At the end, he asked me why I want to start
my career doing consulting. He said, " you seem a very solid technical guy, why consulting? Work in engineering for a while, then do consulting. Get you Masters, then do consulting."
He said laughing,"I am challenging you here." Unfortunately, I was a little too comfortable with him at the end of the interview, and I went on a long-my-life-story kind of an answer.
I saw his face nodding in boredom and carelessness. Then after we strayed from the question into other conversations, he said, "that what I asked, why do you want to start doing consulting?"
I said, "Sir, I realize that this is what I want to do. There is no reason I delay it if I can start now!" He looked me in satisfaction that I finally answered his question and said, "Fair enough."

Another problem that I am realizing now is that I did not ask them many questions. I mean to be honest, I don't have questions.
I have spent hours and hours reading about them, and they wont give me any different questions. I knew that I like them, I knew why I want to work for them.
Idiot me, I should've just asked for the heck of it!

Anyways, currently I am waiting for their call back. I am actually finishing this post in the plane. We are about to land in a few minutes. I have never been more anxious to get back on the ground or land like this time, because there is like a 5% chance that they have called and left a voice mail saying whether I got an offer or not.

Anyways, I felt good after the interview, as I did not shoot myself in the head at any specific point in the interview. I could've done better, as there is always room for improvement. I did not do excellent, but again, I did not do bad.

Ya'll will know as soon as they get back to me.

Pre-Chicago

2007-10-28T21:09:00.000-05:00

The past few weeks have been eventful. Being me means that I am easily depressed and cheered by the turn out of events, cycling back and forth even in a single day.

Let's start with the AerOnion. The AerOnion star has been rising day after day. It's already a culture in the department. Moreover, it's becoming a sort of social group thing. I love it.

Currently I am in Chicago. The story started about a month ago. I applied to Booz Allen Hamilton online. One depressed night, I went online to see what happened with my application. There was no possible way to find the status of my application. I started looking for someone to email. I found an email for the international recruiter for U.S based MBA students. I am not an MBA student, but heck, that was the best I could find. I sent her with random questions, pretty much a cry for attention. She came back to me in the same day, telling me to send her my resume and she will forward it to the Middle East offices.

Two weeks later, I get an email from them saying that they want to interview me.

After that I started preparing for the interview. This is the job I want. This is it. Anyways, now I am in Chicago. To be honest, I went through stress, anxious, day dreaming, excitment .. all of it last week. Now, I am delusional. It feels like a dream. I keep thinking, "Oh my GOD, I am in Chicago."

Just to make the picture clear, to be interviewed by Booz Allen is by its own a big enough thing. In 2006, Booz Allen hired only 150 people out of 3000 candidates. Keep in mind, it's not a small company, it has offices in 110 countries. So, being me again, I told EVERYONE about it.

The current situation is that I am slightly waking up from my dream, realizing that I possibly wont get the job. Now, I think, what an embarrassment I put myself in.

Allhamd for everything. Anyways, I saw Aaya and Raya. I will write about that later.

2007-10-20T22:34:00.000-05:00

I have not posted in a while. why? Nothing intelligent came upon me!
Oh well, this is going to be another blog/diary style boring post.

soo ..

-----
I wrote those previous two lines before midnight. Couple of hours later, I have inspiration. The kind that makes me wanna sound intellect.

- Real friend is that you are keen to meet and talk to.
- Real strength is to do the things and take decisions knowing they are right, even though if they are the hardest.
- Strength in a team relay on each member admitting his/her weakness, and the well of the rest of the team to cover up for him/her.
- Faking in many aspects in life is an evil necessity.
- Life is a "bunch" of choices and decisions. Some are right, some are wrong, and most are neither.
- The Beetles are AWESOME, and Yusuf Islam's songs back in the 70's are MORE AWESOME.
- Hippies are hilarious.
- The only true honest thing is kids.
- WRW is depressing.
- ENS is more depressing.
- EE are weirdos.
- AerOnion rocks.
- I can bench more than you.
- I can squat more than you.
- I am awesome.
- Apple Juice heated with Cinnamon sticks is a heavenly drink.
- Only problem with Austin is that it's in TX.
- Austin outside Tx is not so special.
- English people are either hilarious, or aweful sense of humor.
- Brad Pitt is over-rated.
- How I Met Your Mother is the funniest show ever.
- The Last Samurai is one of the GREATEST movies of all time.
- Russel Crowe is a bastard arrogant lacks a sense of humor, but he is the best actor of his generation.
- Is Mel Gibson going to ever act again?
- Engineering is overrated.
- Education is overrated.
- Dreams are overrated.
- Evil, senseless, young rich men are underrated.
- Can Wedding Crashers ever get old?
- What about Old School?
- Mathew McConaghey is overrated.

2007-10-10T04:57:00.000-05:00

The Pilot, is living The Pilot way!
The Pilot is realizing that sometimes the best way to live with the pain is to stop fighting it. Instead, acknowledge it; embrace it; and live with it. Pain sometimes can never be forgotten, but can be coped with!

"It ain't how hard you hit, its how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That is how winning is done."

Departmental Forecast

2007-10-09T08:30:00.000-05:00

The year is 2015. UT's star, specially that of the college of engineering, is on the rise as Vince "The invincible" Young came back to finish an Engineering degree, and led the Longhorns to four consequent championships between 2010 and 2014. The admission criteria has been raised, thus, making The Mark College of Engineering (the name was changed back in 2008, after The AerOnion brought the light to Dr. Mark's secret powers) more competitive than MIT. With that intense of intelligence in the Mark College of Engineering, Google has moved their headquarters to Austin, as well as NASA, who is still trying to go back to the Moon.

A series of unfortunate, ironic, and weird events have changed the Aerospace department forever. A secret movement, rumored to be started by the AerOnion, had organized a rebel back in 2008 and taken over the ASCES building. Dr. Yuceil, who led the coup, was financially compensated by an anonymous source, and currently lives in his retirement house in Hawaii.

Amidst the chaos that involved the coup, Dr. Bishop stepped down as a Chairman of the department. The official statement said that "Dr. Bishop takes full responsibility of the recent events;" however, the AerOnion had known that Dr. Bishop had stepped down to pursue personal interests. He enrolled in Law graduate school when he knew that their dress code is a suit.

The visionary Dr. Kyle DeMars took over the Chairman role. Soon after, the Aerospace department faced obstacles that almost closed off the department. He had to gain control of the department and reason with the rebels. The rebels position was weekend, with the sudden departure of Dr. Yuceil after receiving mysterious financial gift. By 2009, the department and the rebels reached a peace treaty; however, they have not figured a solution to the refugee's issue yet.

Dr. DeMars was a man with a plan. Sadly, his plan had backfired when he tried to implement it. His plan included, getting rid of unnecessary classes, bringing in fresh, young blood in the department, and produce socially skillful, technically brilliant, and managerially knowledgeable Aerospace engineers.

With the cancellation of unnecessary classes, the department faced legal issues with state, as the program was reduced to 60 hours, half of the previous plan coarse load. This issue was quickly resolved. As part of the resolution, Aerospace students have to take swimming, fencing, and sculpture classes as part of their degree.

Dr. DeMars had ruled a forced retirement law, which entails that every professor above 65 years old has 2 years to retire, (except Dr. Mark, because we love Dr. Mark.) This rule has left the department with a massive lack of professors, almost only Dr. Marchand was left in the department. Closely after that rule was passed, many professors had left for other reasons. Dr. Ocampo was inspired by The Astronaut Farmer movie. He bought a rocket from the former China Empire; installed Copernicus on it, and went to the moon. Dr. Varghese had left the department seeking self redemption when he realized how many souls his Propulsion Final in Spring 07 destroyed. Dr. Buckley realized that he can make a lot more money at JPL, since the government is pouring money into the Return to the Moon program. Dr. Goldstein is on leave since he had a panic attack when one of his students accidentally destroyed the LDA in the water tunnel facility. Dr. Mear had taken a job as a talk show host. His success was unprecedented. Soon after, he was hired to replace David Letterman. Dr. Demkowicz left UT before 2010, as he was not satisfied with the intelligence levels of UT students. Dr. Fowler took a year sabbatical to go on a pro hand ball tour; however, he decided to never come back to teaching, since handball is much more fun. Dr. Hull still teaches Flight Dynamics occasionally, but he is occupied by establishing the Hull Flight Dynamics institute, which is dedicated to teaching his Flight Dynamics class.

No one knows where Dr. DeMars is in the year of 2015. His tenure of 2 years left the department in a miserable state, and it was not until 2014 that the department revived itself. Currently, the leadership of the department consists of Gail Simpler as a chairman of the department, with Sarah Kitten as her assistant.

It's 2015, now. The Aerospace department bypassed MIT's Aerospace department in rankings, and actual student's performance. This year was marked by the winning of national DBF competition. Remarkably, the first time that the UT team does not crash their UAV in the national competition, they win first place.

Envious Baby !

2007-10-01T06:25:00.001-05:00

Hilarious ..

2007-09-21T07:02:00.000-05:00

His left hand was in his jeans pockets, and his right hand's index was pointing up in the air with the key chain's ring flying around it. Carelessly, with a dreamer's tired face, he went up the stairs leading to his apartment. His mind, seemingly thinking deeply, was playing Journey's song, Don't Stop Believing. Though, he tried to get it out of his head, so he started mumbling that Anime ending song in Japanese. He thought it's very interesting that he liked the meanings of the words, and the beat of it too, even though he couldn't really follow the actual words.

The Anime song finally won his brain.
Everything we see,
is destined to crumble to nothing,
No!No!No! It's up to you whether you believe it or not,
But love and kindness are sometimes just hypocrisy
Even so we desire them and wander around them
an unseen story a message toward you an unseen story
I am feeling uncertain is it ok for us to believe we can still go on?

He could not decide whether it's dark words or not! But, he likes it for that little chance that they might be dark words! "Woh, when did I start liking dark songs?" a thought came to his mind. "I am gonna go back to Journey's Don't stop believing" he decided.
Don't stop believing ...
.
.

He threw his keys on his bookshelves, and emptied his pockets on that small dusty dinning table. Instantly, he found himself on his chair behind his desk. Why was he setting there? He spent the whole day behind a computer screen. He honestly did not know! He loosened his clothes and start looking around the net for something to read or waste time on, but no luck; he was tired of wasting time online. He made the hard decision; pushed his chair back and got up. Few steps away from his desk, his eyes fell on his journal. He has not opened it in a while. May be it was the cloudy weather, but some mysterious force pulled him toward his journal. Slowly, he reached over with caution, as if he was assuring his journal that he intends no harm.

He stood in his place looking at the pages of his journal. Gradually, he was setting at the floor. He had been keeping a journal for only 3-4 eventful years, though he has not added anything to it in almost a month. He tried to wipe the dust off of his journal cover, but the dust flew the wrong direction, as many things in his life had, and went into his nose to make him sneeze.

"Bliss you."
"Thank you," he replied unconsciously. "Wait, I am alone here." He thought quickly. He looked up, and saw himself standing infront of him wearing that old baggy Tommy jeans and his famous yellow shirt, both of which he still had but never wore them again.

Him: great, now I am hallucinating! that's exactly what I needed now!
yellow shirted him: haha, this is no hallucination. Just a little dream.
Him: The name does not matter. It's all the same. My brain gone wacko!
- ya, your brain had gone wacko. Though, not because you seeing me ...
-- what is it because smart guy?
- You should know. I would never want to be where you are now.
-- well .. tooo bad, because you will be where I am!
- No way, now that I saw it by my eyes. I would do everything differently, the good and the bad.
-- you don't get it it. Me, you, we learn the hard way. We are an experiment of life, trial and error! That is how we are built.
- I will change. We can change. and I will not lose track of my plans, our dreams.
-- huh .. plans, dreams ..what a kid. Wake up ..
- me? You are the one hallucinating!
-- ha-ha .. funny ...
- no, seriously. what happened to our plans?
-- You going to go through it, like I did. I don't want you to feel its pain even before it happens.
- gotcha ...
-- you are wierd.
- nah .. you acting all tough, but it's all a shell. you are still good hearted and nice down there.
-- nice, goodness, all are overrated. besides, you are really pushing my buttons. If I were you, I would just leave.
- you keep forgetting. You are me, and your hallucinations brought me here.
-- NO, I am not you. I am not you ...
- wow .. what happened to you? where did all this bitterness come from?.. you totally sold out on everything I stood up for. I am afraid not only that you sold out. I am afraid you sold out on a lot bigger things.
-- I did not sell out. No, I did not. I adapt to what life throw at me, on my way. I am just tired of not being appreciated. I am tired of being batted on the shoulder for the excellent work, then told to keep it coming. I aint super man ... and yes I am bitter. and I don't know what I am bitter about. The fact that I effed up big time, or because what I was made to go through. It doesn't matter though, because it's all my fault.

- I don't know what happened to you .. It's just sad.
-- what happened to me? Is that what you want to know? Reality happened. I saw the real world. I saw what people really are. Oh, it's dark, dark picture. I saw hypocrisy, fake faces, lies, materialism, eccentric souls, greed ...

His heart beat was quite fast. His grip was almost tearing the journal apart. He looked around him, and saw no one. What was that he saw? He rushed to the closet looking for the Tommy Jeans and the yellow shirt, but he was not surprised when he could not find them.

2007-09-15T14:04:00.000-05:00

urghhhh, stupid postal people.

2007-09-15T12:42:00.001-05:00

Today is third day of Ramadan, and it has been good allhamdulillah. Some of my friends have been joking around about that they can eat and I can't. I go along with the joke, as if I am so craving the food. In reality, yes, I might be hungry; but I am really happy and glad that I am fasting.

The AerOnion

2007-09-14T10:32:00.001-05:00

The second release of the AerOnion

Airline Complaint ... The funniest thing you would ever read!!

2007-09-13T00:38:00.001-05:00

Funniest Airline complaint ever ...

AerOnion greatness, Ramadan etc

2007-09-13T00:19:00.000-05:00

Monday morning the second edition of the great AerOnion was released, and oh boy it was a hit! On Monday, the reactions to it were amazing. It was a blast for me, working on it, and watching people laugh at it. It brings out an honest laugh. You it's honest, because it's not outa pity or anything like that. It's just a laugh!

It's wed. night. (Thur. Morning that is!!) Monday night I had no specific feeling, all I could do was go home and sleep, because I only slept at 5 am on Mon. morning. So, I went to bed pretty early and woke pretty early. I woke up at fajr!

So, Tue was a goood day. Though, walking back to my place around midnite after spending the whole day on campus, despite how much fun you've had on campus, has become depressing. I had a good day. Everything went great Allhamd. I have had a blast doing my hw with the group.

Today is horrible. I messed fajr, and you know your day is gonna suck since you wake up. I realised that I missed McKinsey's info session. and things were not as bright.

I have so much to write about, but seriously not in the mood. I wanna write so much, but at the same time don't feel like it!! anyways, Ramadan is already on. iA I can manage to go throw it all without having so much trouble with timing and issues. It's my fourth Ramadan by myself. It's a bit sad. The saddest part is that I gave in to getting used to it!

anyways ... thas all for now ... Ramadan karreeem everyone ...

I am gonna go to HEB to buy the needed ingredients for my first day of ramadan traditional suhoor. egg and potato!

Some good thoughts ..

2007-09-05T00:41:00.000-05:00

As I was walking back to my place today, listening to Yesterday, on my awesome new phone, some good thoughts leaked into my brain. For a moment, it was painful; life has not been exactly going my way recently.

No resistance from my side for those thoughts. In fact, I let them take over my face, and I smiled. I enjoy school. Despite all the painful, horrifying, never ending, and nagging homeworks and stupid classes, it's fun. It's also what I do the best. Send me back in time, I will, again, choose Engineering, Aerospace engineering.

Those days at school will never be forgotten, and I enjoy them. So I want to enjoy them to the limits for this last year. Of course, part of my joy in school is that it's the thing that I do best, and I want to be that way for my last year. I went through my junior year flunk, schoolwise, it's over. Inshallah I will be back on track.

It is interesting feeling, anticipating the end of an 'era'.

or as Ashka says, OMG, this is our first weekend in our senior year!!

Oh thy cup of coffeee!

2007-09-05T00:26:00.000-05:00

I woke up little late to my 11 am class. So, I didn't have enough time to get me a cup of coffee, which by now I am addicted to and gave up on fighting it. I used to have the idea of trying to reduce how much coffee I drink, but forget it, it aint horrible! Anyways, I catch the bus and make it to the class.

I skipped my 12.30 class so I can drive my bro to the airport. Usually, I would stop by and buy a cup of coffee from some coffee shop, but because I was planning on coming to my favorite working spot ever, La Tazza Frisca (LTF), I thought I will save the few bucks for later. On the way back, I run some errands that took me a while, and grabbed a french baguette from Texas french bread for lunch. By now, I am getting itchy for coffee, but I like it after my food. So, I heat up some of the bread, and I had three dipping plates: refried beens, olive oil, and butter to spread on the bread. I eat pretty quickly, and I run to the kitchen to drink my coffee.

I put the perfect amount of coffee in the coffee maker, and I put exactly 3 cups of water. Because those small 3 cups would be two cups using my favorite coffee mug. I turn it on, and I go watch That 70's Show. The coffee maker is roaring, and I am getting itchier by the second for that coffee. I started dreaming of that cup of coffee with each road of the coffee maker.

Few minutes later, I go to the kitchen. Walking up to the kitchen, I saw the pot that was supposed to be IN the coffee maker is setting next to it, and that roaring sound was just the coffee dripping on the heating pad. "tick ... bsssshhhhh ... tick ... bsshhhhh"

My dream of a cup of coffee was shattered. As I took care of the mess, I still craved the coffee but had not time to mess with the coffee maker anymore. I took my backpack and went to school.

Few hours later, I am here at LTF, drinking their awesome fresh coffee and relaxing after being done with the HW.

Oh thy cup of coffeee!

The Ultimate Study Guide for ASE

2007-08-17T22:53:00.000-05:00

This section gives the ultimate insights on how to ace the ASE classes.

Introduction to Aerospace Engineering: If you are lucky enough to take it with Dr. Mark. Bring popcorn and soda with you to class; it's as good as Star Wars.

Introduction to computer engineering: With Dr. Hayes, don't try to understand what the homework wants, you wont figure it out. Ask your TA.

Spacecraft Dynamics: With Dr. Ocampo, unless Copernicus is wiped out of existness, keep on working. It's a race to who spends the most hours studying.

Measurements and Instrumentations: How much can you bs about stuff that thought you were avoiding by majoring in Aerospace engineering.

Propulsions: Find a corner and pray. Just pray ...

Introduction to Fluids Mechanics: ..

2007-08-17T22:42:00.000-05:00

Break is been ok. Not the smoothest ever, but it's all right. Though, I feel relaxed. It's weird, that relaxation feeling, because I have not had that one in looong time. It's also crazy; I've been productive and efficient without boring myself to death!! I am amazed by myself!!

I am going to New Haven tomorrow for a week, iA. Going to DC to see the National air and space museum, WAHOOOOO for all these planes. Hopefully, going to Boston, to meet an old friend. I do wanna go to Boston and DC, but not enough time, and you kno .. traveling aint for free. Despite all the excitement I have for seeing the museum, I think I may wanna go to Boston more than going to DC. Uh, tough decisions!!

Oh well ... aside from all the normal reasons for having a what so called 'vacation.' I am hoping this vacation gives me a break from thoughts. I have been scared of my thoughts recently. It's like, WTF, how did I get here! oh well .. iA all goes well ...

The Astronaut Farmer

2007-08-11T17:37:00.001-05:00

I just finished watching The Astronaut Farmer. I have no doubt to say that this movie is not your average blockbuster movie. Though, it barely escapes the regular dreamer, inspiration kind of movies.

I was a little anxious about the movie makers screwing up a lot on the technical details of rocket making (notice that I am talking from high and above about making rockets!!) Luckily, they were cautious about adding in specific technical details. Nevertheless, there were couple of points that raised my eyebrows with a wth look.

The movie is not hilariously funny, though it's easy capable of drawing a smile on your face as easily as it can fill your eyes with tears coming short of actually crying. The movie does not have corners. In the sense that it was smooth transition through the story, no sudden changes or huge twists in the plot to end it. The ending even was not sudden, blunt, or quick.

However, the movie is a B- movie. It was little short on laughter, little short on drama, and a bit extra outta this world feeling.

From my own perspective and current state of mind, it was not the main theme of following your dream that captured my attention; it was that delicate yet complicated supportive state that the family had toward the Farmer. The family is supportive to this dream. In actuality, the family is built on this dream. The same exact dream that is dooming them. So what is it? give it up and not risk the family or keep going on all costs?

Thinking about it: what is right and what is wrong. From the Farmer's point he would surely love his family support. On the other hand, his family would surely love to be safe and take no risks. Though, when his dream hinders his families life, it is not his business alone anymore. Therefore, he should not take their support for granted. Will they give him their support? It would be such an awesome gift to do that. But what I still cant answer is whether they are selfish have they choose not to support him? Or, would he be selfish to decide to go on his dream regardless of their support ... That's to be decided along hours and hours of thinking (ya, sure!)

Just Because

2007-08-10T01:13:00.000-05:00

This post is just because ... I have nothing in specific to say, as my head is still clearing up. Yet, I feel like I wanna write something. It's really hard to write something when you don't have something to write about. Talking about my confused head, it's like the polymers going from amorphous to crystallite structure. (hehe .. thas as much as I remember from materials.)

By Mon Aug. 13 07 I will have only two long semesters before I graduate. yikes .. real world, real life is upon us. Still, I am excited. College has burned me and made life soulless. Thanks to the Aeronion, added some spices to the so called 'college experience.' Besides, it's this time where you have to act all super duper, put on suits and try to show yourself off to whoever buying your self marketing. Seriously, it's a good excuse to show off, and put a good show. hmm ... I think I am gonna enjoy buying some new ties and shoes .... wait .. that of course will be after my very manly masculine workout!! hehehe

I shoulda be studying ... but seriously, studying is over-rated. No .. seriously .. I need study to ace this final iA and go back to the so called A-student.

ok .. enough .. I think I got some ideas to write about .. but hey .. I dont wanna write something serious ... it's study-faking time ..

Suicidal Societies

2007-08-05T16:25:00.000-05:00

I always found social studies amazing, interesting, and intriguing. Part of that interest is how Islam solved the problem versus how people solved it.

In Islam, as I think and believe it to be, problems solved based on individual instructions that serves the best of both individual and society. More over, it always seems a win-win situation for the individual, since mostly everything is encouraged by a rewards of Heaven and higher levels in Heaven. It's hard for me here to give an example, since I aint no scholar or a thinker; thus, I wont have my head totally wrapped around any specific topic. Therefore, I rather not talk about an issue and not give the real Islamic perspective, then I will be in trouble.

But, I have to say that societies, when not ruled by a divine religion, or not following the already existing divine path, have suicidal tendencies. No, I don't mean suicidal individuals. I mean the society behavior only takes it to self-destruction.

People's ability to see the problems in a society is under-rated. You ask how? or why don't they fix it, then? or what is my proof? Well, society exaggerate the problems by identifying it and then figuring out specific solutions to protect their individuals. These solutions usually only focus on the individual, which usually ends up hurting the society in general. So, had they not identified a problem, they would've not have those solutions to protect their individual. May be society is not smart enough to realize the root of a problem, yes; but it definitely recognizes the branches of that core. Some may argue that trying to correct the symptoms of a problem rather than the core of it leads the society to a closed loop or closed circle where they repeat themselves, staying at their place neither moving forward or backward; however, as I see it, society destroys itself by that. It's not a closed circle; it is a downhill path.

That's what a bitter engineer thinks of the society he lives in. Probably, you are laughing now, and thinking what does he know. It's all right, because I am not trying to preach to anyone. I am just me, and that's what I think.

He is better off there iA

2007-08-03T18:45:00.000-05:00

A good friend of mine passed away back home in a car accident.

While I am getting ready for my class this morning, I missed a phone call from a number from Jordan. I did not know the number, and even when I called mom as I usually do on my way to school, she did not know it. So, I thought what ever, if it was important they could've left a msg.

After the test, I go home waiting for Omar to get ready to go to Juma. Omar comes out and he says: Do you remember Bitar?
I said: is he ok?
Then he told me that he passed away in a car accident this morning.

I have not talked to him in a long time. But he was one of the people I look forward to meet when I go home. He was one of the fewest ppl that I see purity in him. He had that love and fear of Allah swt at the same time. He pleased his parents and was on good terms with them, even though they were not as religious as he was, as to say.

He was younger than me, and always appreciated my advice. Though, I loved talking to him. It reminded me of how our faith is beautiful. Besides, he was just loved by everyone.

My friend who called in the morning, tried to call a lot later in the afternoon, but I just couldn't pick up the phone.

My brain is exploding. My heart is just dead now. That is it. Just too many hits in the same week.

I pray for him. Make dua that allah makes it easy on him in his grave, and shows him his place in heaven. I make dua that allah admits him in jannah, heaven. The highest levels.

After all, it's better there for him. It's ugly down here. We are all heading there. All I make dua and pray that I see him there. Inshallah.

This life aint worth it.

That aint no help

2007-08-01T23:15:00.000-05:00

Back to that Ashraf phone call from the previous post. So, while talking to Ashraf, he says,"btw, we found the perfect girl for you, just let me know when you are ready." My immediate response was, "HELL NOOOO." A second or two of silence then I realized how inconsiderate from me it was to say that, since he is only trying to help. Damage control kicks in so I say, "No dude ... not thinking about that for LOOONG time now. we will talk iA later." He understood and the conversation moved on.

At this point of my life, even though I understand how insignificant in life a job, degree, and money, could be, all I want is to graduate and get a job. It's true my decisions now are clouded by a recent unsuccessful relationship; but, I know what I want, and I am gonna go for it.

As for these days, I try to keep myself busy. Talking to people is overrated. I am sick of talking to people about my problems. I am just me .. I have my own brain, and my own thoughts. I do what I wanna do, and if I screw up .. what is gonna happen!! .
Also, I am trying to revive an old philosophy SMILE ... yes .. there is a whole language of smiles, there are never two smiles that means the same !
These recent smiles are that wise man smile
well .. it's not really really wise man smile .. it's I am in a denial state and don't wanna really smile but out of niceness and not exaggerating and looking solid i will smile and pretend to be wise man who bends over and let the storm pass by him.
if it's a real happy smile it means I am a heartless bastard ... if it's a real wise man smile then it means I am in total acceptance and peace with everything happened, but I am not. It hurts, and the questions of coulda, shoulda, woulda keep surfacing. Nevertheless, I've forever moved based on that feeling-in-the-guts. So, it's making it a little easier that the feeling-in-the-guts is not bothering so much.

What does it feel to stand on the hwy shoulder?

2007-08-01T22:45:00.000-05:00

I called Ashraf to check on him today. I don't have much to do, so he told to join him on the never ending fun of fixing other's cars. He also told me to bring the Hikaru, my bike, for more fun.

I turn on the bike and it runs fine. So, I thought, "as long as I'm moving the bike should stay running." Little I knew that I-35 is PACKED. I get on the hwy, and little before I-35 crosses MLK, the bike just died. As sad as it sounds, it was hilarious. I pushed the bike with me feet while setting on it on the HIGWAY. A GOOD cop driving one of those new Dodge Chargers was on the lane next to me, so he turned on his siren and blocked two lanes to let me cross to the shoulder. He pulled over in front of me. I thought, "Shit, now he is giving me some ticket." First thing I said to him, "My license?" Surprisingly, he shock his head in disagreement with a smile and said, " nah, I just wanna make sure that you have a phone to call for help." I assured him that I am all right. So he said "take care" and left! This cop so far is the nicest cop that has ever pulled me over! and boy, I have been pulled over quite a bit!

I called the bike shop to send me a towing truck. Ashraf called and wanted to come with his truck, but I said no. Yes, that no cost me 50$ extra, but I don't like depending on Ashraf everytime my bike/car breaks down. Besides, he has a life, has work, and the towing truck is his living. I can't be taking away from his time like that all the time. Anyways, I was under MLK. So I sat on the side of the hwy waiting. It was fun. Aside from EVERYONE staring at me when passing, drivers who illegally using the shoulder lane were getting mad at me cuz my bike is not letting them go thru. 45 mins later the towing truck came. 15 mins afterward I was at home.

The curse of broken things ...

2007-07-29T22:08:00.000-05:00

So .. I have not been writing lately. Not because I have nothing to write about, but may be because there is a whole lot to write about and I cant find enough clarity to isolate one thing and write about. In fact, I have about 5-7 draft posts that I have started but I can't find the ending for them.

Anyways, Material's lab is over. I have survived the final with a decently high grade allhamdulillah. Eventually it gave me an A. I could've have gotten it with a lot lower grade in the final, but the moral booster of defeating that test is worth the studying, allhamdulillah. Next thing to defeat is the heat transfer midterm on Tuesday. Inshallah I will get some time to study for it.

This streak, bad mojo fit, bad spell, or whatever it is called started on Friday. As I am not exactly ready yet to talk about what happened on friday, I would say that I started moving on then. Which I thought is a good thing to keep my mind occupied and busy; less thinking that is. Though, I forgot that things never workout the way it should be.
Spent Friday night moving stuff, packing and cleaning. The night went forgettable as the comedy movie I rented, to make me at least smile, was no good. I tried to bust some ants (play ant buster) but my laptop shut down as it overloaded.

Saturday was full of moving, too. Though, in the afternoon, I took few hours break to study. Around midnight, I went to get a movie and ran into Ihsan in Blockbuster. He knows his movie; therefore, we spent an hour in blockbuster talking about movies. It was rather interesting, since both of us consider themselves movie buffs; however, I am nothing compared to him. You could smell some sort of competition going there. Or not quite competition, but sort of defending territory kinna thing. "Have you seen this movie?" "Noo , OMG... you have to see it.." that conversation was repeated 5000 times in that hour. No need to mention that I said no a lot!

I rented The Contract for Morgan Freeman and John Cusack. It was worst than straight to video movies. I can't believe those two actors took part of this shameful movie. Anyways, I tried to work on my laptop, but no. My laptop decides to make it a great weekend for me. The charger stops charging.

Today, I wake up exhausted. Move and clean more stuff, then try to study for a little. A friend called to get a coffee before he leaves to H'town for good. I went got coffee with him. After that, I find my car's tire has a nail in it and the tire went flat in less than an hour! I change the tire, and now I have this stupid donut tire on the car.

I have a midterm on tuesday, and I have a whole lotta stuff to do. Still, I am way behind in studying for it. I am currently tired, and in no moood to study whatsoever. But it's all right. I will study a little inshallah then go comfort myself with a Romeo and Juliet! will see how good they are.

I am sooo looking for school to be over. I need to take a break, ia. Even though I have only two weeks, and I have enough work to keep me busy for all those two weeks, I am just gonna drop everything for few days. It's tactic, just run from everything, and when you come back it's all fixed.
what a wonderful world. It's beautiful world. (if you have not smelled, sensed all the sarcasm, skepticism, well .. ya .. that was sarcastic and skeptical!)

Which part of your head did you shave exactly?

2007-07-07T16:59:00.000-05:00

I have been fully focused, and next is biggest example for that.

I worked out then went to CVS to buy eye drops. Walking around to find the eye drops, I saw the hair gel section. I thought, "the bottle of gel I have is about to go out, lemme get one." I picked up one and went looking for the eye drops.

Went to the register to check out. He gave me the are-you-nuts look. I gave him the what-is-your-problem look. I paid and left.

In the car I was thinking about this new gel I got, then I thought, "man .. I wanna try this new gel today." As a habit I have, where I scratch my head while thinking, I starting rubbing my bald head thinking about trying this new gel.

It took a while to hit me .. but it did .. eventually!!

The Fisherman and the Harvard Boy ..

2007-06-28T17:56:00.000-05:00

*I was told the essence of this story by someone whom I forgot who he is. If you are reading, thanks for the story!
-----------

A harvard kid went on a hiking trip. For he was very skilled in directions and reading the maps, he got lost, ending on some sort of a shoreline with fishing boats all over. He was lost, so he didn't know whether that is a lake, sea, ocean, or gulf since there was no sign there. Wandering around the shoreline cluelessly looking for some help, he stumbled upon a fisherman who was back early from his fishing trip for that day.

Fisherman: hey city boy, you look confused?
Harvard boy: Sir, I am looking for the rocky mountains?
Fisherman: hahahahaha ... what? dady left you behind in the gas station?
Harvard boy: I understand your critisizm sir, but I think I am lost.
Fisherman: dont 'sir' me kid ... relax ... have you had lunch yet? My wife is waiting me on lunch.

Even though Harvard boy was about to puke from the smell of fish around him, he accepted the invitation only because he has not eaten since breakfast, and that is not good for his diet.

Fisherman: I will take you to the bus station to take you back home afterward.
Harvard boy: Thank you sir. Your kindness is most appreciated.
Fisherman: haha ... you city boys can never loosen up that tie, can you?
Harvard boy: sir, I am wearing cargo pants and a T-shirt!
Fiherman (whispering): Lord, hopeless case!

The two went on to the fisherman house, or more like a cabin. The cabin was simple, had one or two rooms, kitchen, a small bathroom, and a porch. It was not so far from the shoreline. They were even able to see his boat from the porch. Harvard boy had no time to look around or notice that he is eating in what he would call a dumbster! He didn't even notice that afer eating, because it took only few minutes, while the fisherman went inside to bring the tea, for him to sleep in his seat. The fisherman carried him and put him in his kid's room, where she sleeps, play, paint, and play with her dolls!

The fisherman took the kids out to play with them, and opted to not go back to to fish, and he has done good enough for the day. Sun was hiding behind that extended horizon, behind the water, leaving little light for all those boats in the middle of the water. Sun was more of laughing at them, laughing so hard that it's turning red. They knew when the sun was leaving, because she left almost the same time yesterday. Yet, they wait and wait trying to catch one more fish while there is some light.

It was pitch black and Harvard boy hadn't waken up yet. The Fisherman took the kids to sleep in his bed. Sat next to them with his wife until they slept. Then, he went out to watch the stars as he has been doing everynight with his wife since they got married three years ago.

Morning came, bright and early. Harvard boy woke up refreshed, despite the backache. "I miss my bed!" Harvard boy thought. He started collecting his thoughts, and how he ended up in this ewww place! Yet, he felt grateful for this fisherman, which was a scary feeling for him. He was not used for being by people, let alone helped by his own folks. He always thought of himself as a solo project. Has he had money on him, he would have gave the fisherman some money or something. Nothing is free, that's what his MBA degree taught him.

Breakfast was delicious. Though, it was time for life to go back on to it is norms, and each goes back to his regular life. While they were walking, Harvard boy's brain was racing to find a way to thank the fisherman. Meanwhile, he was engaging in the fisherman with some regural common talks.

Harvard boy: ... how long have you been in the fishing business?
Fisherman: you son cracks me up .. fishing business ... son ... I aint but a poor fisherman with small boat barely getting myself from day to day. I wake up in the morning ... fish till it's noon ... go home for lunch then go back later to clean up the boat and prepare for the next day's trip.
Harvard boy: That is it .. so ... you work six hrs a day?
Fisherman: When I am inspired!

A light bulb went on Harvard's boy head. He knew now how he is giving back to the fisherman.
Harvard boy: ok ... here is what I am going to do for you. I will be your financial advisor, and help you grow with your buisness. Ok .. (harvard boy getting excited)
so .. you have to work harder. untill you buy a larger boat. Then you start making more money. With that money, you buy another boat. Hire another fisherman to work on it. You save more money, and buy more boats and more boats. Then you start your own company, and you're set.
Fisherman: Then ?
Harvard boy: then what ... then you are rich ... you buy a nice house ... you move there ... you retire and enjoy your hobbies ... have fun with your kids ... buy them everything they want ..

Fisherman: Thank you son ... I prefer to give my kids a father now on giving them the dream of nicer clothes and toys!

Best words I read in a while

2007-06-28T01:29:00.000-05:00

I have always said that I hate doctors, but I made so many exceptions to it that I now say: I hate the stereotyped doctor! Why am I saying that? The articles that I enjoy reading the most online, and wait for them every sunday and wedensay, are written by a doctor!! Needless to say that they have nothing to do with science....
anyways, these words below are from his last article. I wish I can translate them to really say what they mean ... but I feel those words ... a lotta times ...
لم يحاول أن يشرح لها أنها لم تفهمه حقا.. لم يصارحها أن هذه الكلمات التي أغضبتها كانت -دون أن تدري- هي أجمل كلمات سمعتها في حياتها. لم يقل لها ذلك، وإنما راح يقرؤها، يقرأ على سمتها كل تلك المعاني التي فهمها الجميع سواه.. وكأنها لغة مجهولة منقوشة على معبد قديم ثم استطاع بالإلهام فهم رموزه

click here for the full article

Stupendous Theory# 7000

2007-06-05T16:04:00.000-05:00

Every human being has a natural tendency and ability to slack. These tendencies will surface sooner or later; thus, it has to be a controlled-surfacing. Otherwise, it will explode and take out everything with it!

How I became a bum on the drag?!

2007-05-23T23:37:00.000-05:00

I was bright. I was smart. I had future. Damn, I had dreams. Untill I hit the P ... (sorry, I can't say the word.)

-Leading to Saturday May, 12th, 2007.
It was a stormy day. No ... It was sunny day ... No ... It was snowing... How the hell would I know? I was locked up in some indoor place studying the hell out of Pr .. (really can't say it)! I have known that I lost my A, for that matter, my B, and barely fighting for the C! Though, I had hope, because I have known, with Dr. Varghese, grades are really irrelevant. I thought that if I show enough effort, Dr. Varhgese would reward my effort with an A.

For two days straight, I ate, slept, and breathed with my propulsion (OMG, I said it) book, papers, and summaries. It was intense. Endless amount of money spent on coffee, Red Bulls, Monsters, sugar, or any source of energy. I had also run out of excuses to go to Dr. Goldestein's, Sarah Kitten's, or Gail Simpler's offices for candy.

-Saturday May, 12th, 2007. one hour to till the test ...
I stopped by the LRC. I have found the rest of the class studying for the test, too. It was hysterical. Colleagues have not slept in days. Red Bull cans are all over the place. I thought at the time, never knowing that I would be one, a bum would feel sorry for us. Given up on absorbing any more studying in those last few moments, we walked as a group swinging around like a drunk Jackie Chan.

-The Test ...
Dr. Varghese walked in the hall strongly and confidently as usual. I did not know that he carried the end of my future with him, the end of my life! At 7:00, the world, my world, changed, and never looked the same again. Well played by Dr. Varghese it was; the more he raised our hope in the closed book section, the more dramatic the crash would be. The open book section of the test started at 7:45. Oh ... what a horrendous feeling. My eyes ran between the problem and the equations sheet, looking for a clue, nothing... Moved on to the second problem. what the hell is this .. the third problem had an engine that was used in some alian spaceship.
The feelings were so strong. I saw MIT grad school disappearing by the first problem. By the second problem, my dream Porsche was fading away. An Aerospace engineering degree seemed very vague by the third problem.

-Nowadays ...
Look for me on the drag. I have long hair, long beard. I am holding a red book, and usually yelling "it's the devil .. the devil on earth." I have a tattoo on my arm saying "Propulsions happened"

My Albino Friend

2007-05-20T16:29:00.000-05:00

On Friday, after an annoying encounter with my props professor, which I think is full of crap, I was waiting for my brother to pick me up from in front of WRW. There is a small wall in front of WRW and a big tree. I lied down on the edge of the wall underneath the big tree risking being crapped at from all the birds. I thought it's ok ... a bird crap wont make it any crappier. ok, enough about crap.

I was staring at the tree and the birds in it. There were couple of squirrels. It was a little while when I notice an albino squirrel. I have never ever seen an albino squirrel. The albino squirrel was a little less energetic. Jumped around a little less than all the other two squirrels. I think there was a squirrel on heat, because he was humping the tree pretty badly! Anyways, back to the albino friend. I think it is a she. She was walking around with pride. I was looking into her eyes and thinking, "does it happen in Animal world that she thinks she is better than the rest because she is special looking!" Anyways, she sat on tree branch and just looked down ... at me!

For more than 15 minutes, I was just looking straight into my Albino friend. She was extremely relaxed. I don't think she was asleep, because her eyes were opened and she would whip her tail every little bit. Anyways, my albino friend, let's call her Maria, was looking back at me the whole time. I was thinking, "what do animals think?" What makes us different than them? They breath, eat, protect themselves, 'reproduce', and sleep. Humans do about the same things, with a little bit more drama, and more emotions involved. A lot more complications, too.

I was thinking, "She is setting up on the tree, looking relaxed and not worried about anything. What is she really thinking?" I am, on the other hand, processing so many things at the same time, trying to loook relaxed, but you can't. You just can't stop that machine called brain from working!

My albino friend made me think ... and I went around in stupid loops and thoughts until I got to the one and main thought: In our life, we choose hell or heaven. In our life, we choose the life after. Moreover, we build this earth and work to make life better for everyone.

I left and Maria was still up on her patio looking condescendingly on people!

Is not it fun?

2007-05-12T22:56:00.000-05:00

Is not it fun to fail a final? No, isn't fun to fail a class .. untill today, I didn't know!

Will see next semester... I think taking props again would be fun!!
cuz I would take it again ... and I would fail again!
wahooooooo
fun ...

what is weird about this whole doing extremely bad in a class is always in my mind. Today, I know that everyone did pretty bad. And, he possibly would do something about it. But I also have always had a strong feeling tht a bad class gonna happen ... sooner or later!

Define life ...

2007-05-12T02:46:00.000-05:00

It's 2:46 and I am still up drinking coffee and trying to summarize this closed-book facts list for my final tomorrow.

I remember a line I read somewhere; life is what happens while planning for other things ... but wat if one can't see anything but wht he is planning for ... is he alive?

To be able to touch your dream is awesome ... but what if being obssesed with a dream makes my life miserable. Is there a line where it's better to give up? Is it even given in? I don't think it's appropriate to call it a 'give up.' In engineering and flying this line can be defined and characterized by numbers. We can obtimize for it.. solve some calculus ... get a number and decide ... but in life .. we can't do tht!

Somehow, someppl confuse me with the absolute stereotyped engineer image. I claim to not be. I claim that I have mastered the skill of knowing when to stop walking to a class to observe the beauty of a bird singing, squirls fighting each other, or in a very lucky day, lying down on the grass and enjoy the weather.

I utterly believe in that statment ... It doesn't even contradict the islamic understanding for life. Everything we do is dedicated to please Allah swt and seeking admission to paradise. and I think it's funny, that somehow we can be sleeping and gaining in reward ... so .. everything and anything counts, and we are encourged to balance ourlives.

ok .. enough rambling for tonite .. The Pilot has a final to fail ...

Stupendous Theory #4309

2007-05-08T06:34:00.000-05:00

After a long semester of shugging along classes and trying to get through, I realised the main source of my frustration; I don't do my own work any more!

Stupendous Theory #4309: I am not a perfectionist; however, I like to have an overall understanding of what I am doing, which takes me a tremendous amount of time, which leads me to copy off the HWs, which leads to a huge amount of frustration, which leads me to doing extremely bad in all of my classes!!

Last night, at the SGT banquet, I realised that I have not been a good rep for Muslims. Ever since I came here I was conscious about being a good rep for Muslims, and always making dua that if I am not a good muslim to not be a really bad muslim that scares off ppl from Islam. May Allah help me to be a good muslim, consequently a good rep.

I put some chicken parmesan in my plate. After eating a little bit of it, I realised there is something on the chicken. What is that? crap .. that's ham. I asked the waitress to confirm, and surely she did confirm it. She said,"is that good or bad?" I said, "uh .. bad." She started apologizing, but I said that it's not her fault and such .. it is ok ... blah blah ... I just ask her for a new plate, and ask her to take my plate away.

Thinking about it now, I wont have done the same thing 4 years ago. I think I would have put the food aside in my plate and then put in some of that vegetarian food, and let the whole thing just pass!

Well, I didn't do that last night. I felt kind of strong. I mean it was not a big issue, but the fact that it happened, and I was not conscious about what everyone else on the table think made me a little bit glad.

Then, Rebbecca setting next to Steven asked him what was happening. I saw him kinna whispering to her. I am not sure what he said. I think he said, "he is muslim," or may be he said "he doesn't ear pork." Either way, I wanted to tell Steven, "Why are you whispering? don't have to..."

Anyways ... In the harsh moments, one always go back to Allah swt. I felt bad about that ... and I was afraid being the person that Allah talks about in the quran that he only goes to Allah in harsh moments, only. But even If I am not as close to Allah wt all the time, which I should be, I shouldn't feel embarrassed to go back to Allah swt in the harsh moments.

Finals are upon us ... there are sooo many things I want to do in the break ... I have the GRE on 24th, which I have not been studying for. I am gonna cram for it a week before it. But before that, I am gonna just chilll....

2007-05-07T02:25:00.000-05:00

I am a numbers-analyzing machine .. thas what I do, I base decisions on numbers. There is a decent amount of understanding and thinking before getting to the numbers, but at the end, I base my decisions on a number.

That is my profession, or what I study ... and I refuse to base my life's decisions on possibilities and numbers .. I just refuse to use the same logic that I use in my propulsion hw in life. May be it is the most sane logic, but I can't. I have seen engineers. I have seen how they work ... and life just doesn't work that way. They make numbers fit to what they want them to be, they always look for the best package. They have to consider everything all at once ... I dunno .. in life .. somethings weigh a lot more than others ...

As I am semi-profissional-nerd I would qoute John Nash's acceptance speech from the movie (beautifull minds). I say from the movie, because in reality he didn't give that speech. I researched it, and in fact, he wasn't even invited to give a seminar like all the other winners!

"I’ve always believed in numbers, in the equations and logics that lead to reasons. but after a life time of such pursuit, I ask what truly is logic ... who decide reason. My quest has taken me through the physical, metaphysical, and delusional worlds and back. And I have made the most important discovery of my career … the most important discovery of my life. It is only in the mysterious equations of life that analogical reasons can be found. I am only here tonight because of you. You are the reason I am ... you are all my reasons.

Thank you"

The AerOnion is out .. WAHOOOO

2007-05-05T03:38:00.000-05:00

Classes suck. I and many in my class are in a severe case of frusteration, overwhelming, dissapointment, and apathy. It's just the fact that Professors either don't care, or care but are really in-considerate! Anyways, this has been dragging for a while, and exploded this semester. The explosion came in finding a breather in something else. Something that we put our effort in, enjoy and have fun doing!

While trying to solve propulsion HW over AIM with Nimisha one night, the conversation drifted to making fun of the plots and such things. Nimisha threw the idea of publishing these jokes in some sort of a newsletter or something. I agreed and found it great idea, and went on talking about it. Two days later, Nimisha IMs me asking if I was serious about doing this sarcastic newsletter! Of course I am serious!

We started working on The AerOnion, the work was discrete and not consistent. Anyways, we were running out of days, and I was sinking in frusteration. I could've easily dropped the whole idea, but I really needed to feel good about doing something in school! Last weekend, we crammed all the work, collected all the bits and pieces. I spent two full nights formating and getting the stuff together, which was my main job aside from coming up with ideas. I came up with many ideas; however, I lack the ability to apply them in many times, and that's where Nimisha came in play of working on my ideas and editing them. Thanks Nimisha for putting up with all of my writting! Aside from that, Nimisha came up with the genius Horoscope section and many other sections. Steven helped in adding final touches here and there. Aslo, he helped those with broken minds! Mays rescued us with the muffin-making-robot cartoon...

The first issue of The AerOnion was officially released on Tuesday, may, 4th. I am proud of it. I saw people reading it and laughing. Professors talk about it. Aside from all that, we had it in us to start something new, and creative. Oh .. and doing it was soooooo much fun!

Many thanks go to The Wrighter, Samuel Twain, and the Pale Mexican!
Seriously, it was personal!

2007-05-05T03:21:00.000-05:00

I have to thank Hasan for a never forgotten advice ... (sorry Hasan, I have to add in some spices on it .. u kno .. to make ur statement a lil bit more dramatic!)

Hasan: One thing to keep in mind ... things will get UGLY .. really UGLY ... thoughts about giving up will come to you ... thoughts of dropping everything would come to you ... when that happens ... just RELAAAX dude ... RELAAAX ...

I hate talking of negativities, soooo much!! I HATE IT ... I mean the world is already ugly as it is.
I know how ugly the world can get .. but really don't I mind pretending to be an idiot and pretending that it's not ugly, at least that way I wont be dying 500 times everyday ..

Strong man: MAWHAHAHA

2007-05-04T02:47:00.000-05:00

Just for the record .. I maxed out at 260 lbs squatting and maxed at 245 lbs at the bench.

Still, I believe my bench max is higher than that. Last night I had 3-4 hrs of sleep, and that doesn't help in working out ...

anyways ... MAWAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

2007-05-03T21:01:00.000-05:00

I don't want to be rich ... I don't want to be known ... I don't want to be of a high social status ... all I want is to be happy and feel that I am doing something useful in my life.

Surprise Birthday Party

2007-05-01T22:19:00.000-05:00

Today is Tawnee's birthday. We were setting in the LRC, and she was complaining how she is stuck in WRW not being able to do anything on her birthday, let along her frusteration of all the HWs.
The idea popped in my mind. I debated whether to go ahead with it or not. Then, I thought, it doesn't really count having the idea. What counts is doing it!
I talked with the group, and all got excited about it. Went to HEB, bought a huge cake. We hid it in the SGT office. Ankita printed a banner saying "Happy Birthday Tawnee." We had candles, this foam thingie, and the people out waiting.
Steven was inside keeping her busy. Then she started walking toward the door. I was like "oh.. dang .. not ready yet" I walked by her sideways, so I can cover the door. Then, I said "Tawnee, can we talk outside.." she was like "what .. my fly is not open!:P"

We walk outside. she looks to the side, but doesn't notice the cake. She was like: "what's with all these ppl" ... Then, we all were "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"
She turned into tomato red color!
Once everything got going and I saw everyone happy and smiling, I got into my glass bubble, and I enjoyed watching everyone being happy!

It's really nice helping someone to smile!

Mercy Meme

2007-04-30T20:39:00.000-05:00

Ran into Chris today. He told me that he tagged me in a meme. What is a meme anyways?! never done it .. but oh well .. will see where this is taking us!

FOODOLOGY

Q: What is your salad dressing of choice?
A: Italian, or Ranch ... Tho, I would hold off on Ranch since its smell annoys someone.

Q: What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A: Hate fast food .. but

Q: What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A: I like to try new resturants all the time .. don't like to be stuck at one place. Mostly, it aint about the food, it's about going out!

Q: On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A: Around 15% ... I am a college student!

Q: What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A: Zayet o Za3ter (Olive Oil with Roasted Thyme) and Molukhia (Can't translate that one!!). Those are the ideal foods, though, I did live for a whole month eating Pasta and Tuna every day, and that was fine!

Q: What is your favorite type of gum?
A: no gum for me ...

TECHNOLOGY

Q: What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A: My laptop has a lovely Carrera Targa 4s looking out the distance ...

Q: How many televisions are in your house?
A: One, that Mofat forced me to take ... thank you Mofat!

BIOLOGY

Q: What’s your best feature?
A: hmm .. my long smooth flying hair! :P dunno .. can't answer that one ...

Q: Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A: Aaah ... I have a fake belly button!!

Q: Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A: They are all messed up .. though I have weird smelling sense, in that I have good nose for perfumes!

Q: When was the last time you had a cavity?
A: Don't think I have had a cavity ever!

Q: What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A: Squated 230 lbs 3 times, and benched 230 lbs 3 times, both done for three sets.

Q: Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A: Not really .. but 2ashraf almost knocked me out one time, while playing boxing!

YOU-OLOGY

Q: If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A: Never possible

Q: Is love for real?
A: If love isn't real, then what is real!?

Q: If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A: back off my name!!

Q: What color do you think looks best on you?
A: dunno .. I always have a yellow and red shirts, just gotta have a yellow and a red! But I love dark blue, and always find myself getting it.

Q: Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A: Dont think so ..

Q: Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A: Not really ... though, one time in elementary school, I learned doing this thing where as I was told "hypnotize" ppl (later, I realise that it's pretty much knocking ppl unconscious) ... it was fun ... because the kid would fall and we would keep slapping them untill they wake up!

Q: Has someone ever saved yours?
A: aaah .. have done pretty stupid things ... I think many have done!

DAREOLOGY

Q: Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A: nope.

Q: Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A: nope.

Q: Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A: I said nope, damn it!

Q: Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A: 50,000 ... sure .. I can do that! ooh .. I would buy a Porsche ...

Q: Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000?
A: nope ... I am not sure if the world can take on all of my hotness!!

Q: Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A: that would kill me .. so nope!

Q: Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A: what about the afterlife punisment?!

Q: Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A: I will take 12,500 if you let me watch Movies in theater, but stop TVing!

Q: Give up MySpace forever for $30,000?
A: MySpace is pretty stupid!

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: nothing

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: Boring.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Carpet.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: Stand!

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: aah .. never really did, unless living with ur bro. counts!

Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A: Zero!

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: I am allergic to cops ...

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: huh ... can't tell u

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A: oooh .. the whole Aerospace gangesgta!

Q: Last person you called?
A: Afnany!

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: The University of Texas at Austin.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: aaaah ...

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A: The Gaurdian.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Does anyone answer this by no?!

Ladies and Gents: Jack ...

2007-04-28T04:18:00.000-05:00

I think I owe it to this blog to give it a name. First thing is to decide what is the gender of this blog ... hmmm ... I would like to say its a girl ... but someone might not like it :P... so ... I will go with a boy ... the first thing I could come up with is Jack ... cuz, it is a blog ... all kinna "jacked" up things would go on!! Now, when refering to Bostorino, I can be all like: "I was talking to Jack ..and I thought .." ...
I know ... I am a complete psycho now!!

anywho .. I've always believed in the power of talking, but tonight I was reminded with the power of listening. I mean, seriously, listening to my own voice over and over drives my insane! (more than I already am .. omg .. this is a serious issue) gotta listen to someone's else voice sometimes

Sometimes someppl, that you thought are a hopeless case, come through to you when most needed. In fact, you find your self going to them.

anywho ... tonight, as a side aftermath of a long talk, I realised stupendous theory #9837: The Pilot may not be as profession as he can be in one specific area; therefore, he will try to be almost-very-good in many areas! Even though stupendous theory #9837 is not new, I realised a new application for it today!

Mentioning the MSA and the muslim community today. I have been seriously isolating myself from them recently. It's not a very good thing, or that I am too happy about it, but it is a natural defense mechanism. I don't want to be proving myself to anyone any more. Aside from that, I really can't be around ppl, that I know, don't trust me, or doubt me. Not that they make me doubt myself, but cuz I don't want to feel compelled to prove myself, as I hate being perceived as an idiot (which might be totally my mistake, since I make it look like it sometimes).
Though, trust is a really major issue ... and I cant tell how much to trust a person means.

School is falling apart ... yup, couldn't hold my own this semester. Some may claim the cause to be a lotta different reasons; however, the only reason is that I am not on truce with my department. Classes suck and I couldn't suck it up any more this semester and do what I have to do to get my A. Actually learning and getting the A are totally different things. If am depressed of something it's because I neither learned or got A's. yup yup .. sad ... To actually gain both at the same time is a real skill that not anyone masters, and whoever does master it is a genius! I dream of one day that learning and gaining an A are not totally different things. I dream of a school where students actually learn enough by doing what the professors ask us to do!

Anyways .. nice talking to you,Jack, today ...

Far Away From This World ...

2007-04-21T13:02:00.000-05:00

In a world far away from this ideal, perfect world, where the devil has taken over people's hearts and minds, in a world far away from this beautiful world, where people no more look to the sky or see how green the trees are, in a world far away from this heartfull world, where people no more see the hope a star in the middle of the night brings, in a world far away from this considerate world, where every person act as if living alone in that world, in a world far away from this thoughtful world, where ideas, concepts, beliefs, and pricniciples are no more than just a good lunch table conversation, in a world far away from this world, where a day comes that people don't have to explain themselves, in a world far away from this colorful world, where people wont give up coconut for strawberry, in a world far away from this happy world, where people are in a constant battle to make the next person unhappy, in a world far away from this lovely world, where people do not know what love is, let alone caring for it, in a world far away from this united world, where people no more help each other, in a world far away from this aromatic world, where the smell of hypocracy is stinking the air, in a world far away from this world, where The Pilot wouldn't know how to finish this sentence ...

2007-04-20T02:19:00.000-05:00

My life nowadays ...

My life nowadays actually have a taste ... it is not flavorless any more ... though, gaining back that flavor doesn't come for free. It comes all in one package, meaning that it comes with delicious flavors as well as ugly horrible flavors. Though, it's worth it.

It has been a while since it felt this way... but alhamd .. I like it this way ... i don't want it to ever change ... isA this ugly flavor will fade away .. then all is left is good delicious lovely beautiful life, that carries with it some other ugliness ... but thas life ... it aint no fairy tale!

Wht has The Pilot been up to?
Life has been actually busy ... Real busy ... school hasn't been soo good ... it seems the junior yr theory has to apply on me! isA I can pull it .. but I kind of giving up on trying to gather all the fallen pieces together ... instead .. I am just trying to save as much as I can ...

what else ... I have not been going to classes .. I have been barely doing my hws, reports and do study on my own ...

I am still on the quest to find a research ...

The Pilot hasn't flown in a long time ... he has to fly ... soooon .. soon .. he can't let that happen ...
The Pilot really thinks he can't give up on flying .. no he cant ...

Finally .. I know how it feels ... no not distracting .. rather .. motivational ...

Dinner at Dr. Mark's

2007-04-12T14:03:00.000-05:00

This is one of the most modest, down to earth, humble people I met and will ever meet! Dr. Hans Mark, he is a prof in our department and about 77 yrs old still working strong ... and yes that link was wikipedia!

The reason I am claiming he is soo modest is that he stil listens to 21 yrs old students opinions about political issues that thousands of ppl die for! Not only listens, and interested in what they say!

Anyways, the dinner was amazing. It's funny, cuz I learned the most from his wife's talk .. I seriously believe him when he introduces her as the REAL Dr. Hans Mark! I don't know if every one gets it .. or he even means what I understand from it ... but I think it's pretty 'deep' ...